


heliotropic

by marsakat



Series: demaverse [4]
Category: Trench - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trench (Album), Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Near Death Experiences, Polyamory, Recovery, Survival Training, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18707836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/pseuds/marsakat
Summary: Other Banditos gave up on the weak, ill escapee—regretfully explaining there was little chance that he’d survive the night. But Jenna was not the type of person to surrender, not when this man had survived Dema and the walk through Trench to find them. She knew he was special and that she was going to save him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flightlessnerds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightlessnerds/gifts).



> I've been working on this fic for a long time, and I'm excited to finally post this. I've said it before but I love the Trench universe that Tyler created and I would love to have more details about it. What's been fascinating me is what happened before the music videos-- how did Jenna and Josh become Banditos and where did they first meet Tyler?
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

Josh had become aware of her presence like how the blind flower senses the sun every morning as it rises in the east. She would tell him later that his face always would turn to her as soon as she entered the sick tent. He would whisper back that he was so cold throughout his illness, despite the high fever, that he felt her warmth as soon as she arrived.

He was half dead when he crawled into camp for the first time. His body was wracked with chills and Josh was senseless from an infection grown from the burns and lashes inflicted by the Bishops. No one knew his name—this Dema defector who wasn’t likely to make it. No one wanted to become emotionally attached. There were too many disappearances of their own to waste the love in their hearts on a stranger.

But Jenna had never been known to listened to reason whenever someone else was suffering because of it. She insisted she had more than enough love to give to the man whose tears and sweat would go unwiped for hours if Jenna didn’t stay by his side. She could feel his pain; every whimper as they turned him, cleaned his wounds, and while he slept fitfully, from nightmares he rarely talked about.

Before she even knew who he was, Jenna loved him. She would talk to him all day, and sing to him at night. She was the first one to noticed how he sucked at the washcloth as she wiped his dry lips. Eager for water, but weak as a newborn kitten and unable to open his eyes. She celebrated the little victories; his desire for water and light broth fed to him via the washcloth was clearly a sign that his body wasn’t shutting down. Josh was a fighter, and Jenna did everything in her power to meet him, finally.

She fed him by hand, and every day he ate a little more.

“You’re doing so well, Starshine.” She kissed his forehead, and even felt his brow relax under her lips. “I can’t wait to have you tell me your real name.” Jenna had a million nicknames for him but there was nothing more she wanted to know than who he was and what his voice sounded like.

His hair was matted and impossible to detangle when they found him; fear of a lice outbreak meant that Josh’s head was shaved that very first night, once it was clear he wasn’t going to die right away. Skinny and pale, he looked practically alien with his hair missing. Jenna had heard once that a lot of body heat was lost through the head, so she made sure to locate a warm, knitted beanie for him. 

“Looks good on you.” She told him, without a response. Jenna wasn’t expecting one, but she was waiting for it eagerly.

Josh came out of his coma slowly; mumbling words under his breath with the faintest flutter of his short, dark eyelashes. Jenna watched every movement, and she knew before anyone else that he was definitely going to survive. In fact, she knew he was going to do extraordinary things. Everyone doubted and some other Banditos had flat-out told her that she was wasting her time. The illness may not have killed him, but Trench was a wild and terrifying place that was filled with its own dangers. It may even have been kinder to let him die, but Jenna was obstinate.

There was something special and familiar about his soul and the slight squeeze of his hand as she whispered “good morning” one day. It was like they recognized one another, with only one actually seeing the other. Their hearts were waving to say ‘hello, again.’

When he opened his eyes for the first time, all he could see was  _ yellow _ and  _ light  _ and  _ her _ . He knew her voice, had been lulled and comforted throughout his fever by words his brain had been too ill to understand. 

“You’re safe now,” was the first thing he could remember her saying that moment where they really met. Safety was relative and Trench was far from a place where one could ever feel at ease; but he learned that Jenna tried her hardest to keep her word. With her, he knew he was not alone. If there was anyone Josh could count on, he knew he could trust in her. In return, he wanted to be worthy of that role for her.

His voice was too weak that first day to even mumble out his name, and he drifted off back to sleep after Jenna fed him an entire bowl of broth. The second day though, he was awake when she pulled back the tent flap. Clearer-eyed than she had ever seen him, he was propped up with pillows and his hands folded in his lap, thumbs twiddling. Jenna’s jaw hurt with how widely and quickly her grin grew and she placed his breakfast on the side table. She was so overcome, she didn’t know what to say. All those days waiting hadn’t prepared her with the right introduction.

“Josh.” He broke the silence, his voice hoarse and low. “M’name’s Josh.”

“Hello Josh.” Jenna said in hushed tones of reverence. “I’m Jenna and I’m so happy to meet you.”

His lungs and body ached all over, his memories haunted him, but Josh forgot about all of it as he met her smile with his own. Everything he had suffered through was worth it, since it brought him to her. 

* * *

Josh’s recovery flew by quickly, and Jenna couldn't help but gloat as he defied all those dire expectations. He was walking within days—albeit on shaking legs with his entire weight on her shoulders.  They circled the tent at first, and though Jenna’s back was sore later, she brushed off Josh’s concern with a “worth it.”

Snide remarks came her way; “how’s the greenie doing? We haven’t been seeing you out on missions. Seems like he’s been keeping you away from your other duties. Must be something  _ really _ special.”

“Oh yes, he definitely is,” she’d reply with a toothy smile that said ‘ _ watch yourself _ .’

Jenna had been with Banditos for years, escaping Sacarver’s district with three friends. Stories from her early years in Dema hadn’t been as bad as others’ she had heard, especially from those who came from Nico. Regardless of suffering or not, the whole time she lived there something had felt so  _ wrong _ about Dema. The mind-numbing droning and desire to go beyond the walls—she wanted excitement. It hurt to leave her family behind, but she made a new home with the rebels. 

As much as she loved her fellow Banditos, there were always a few that rubbed her the wrong way, and attitudes that didn’t align with what she believed in. Jenna had seen her fair share of horror at the hands of the Bishops and the Watchers. She had scars inside and out from run-ins with them. What kept her from hardening up like jaded Banditos, was the conscious effort to find that spark of hope that helped her survive many times before. 

Closing her eyes, letting the sun warm her cheeks and the wind to lift her hair free from the braids. Trench was  _ alive  _ and  _ free _ , and Jenna wanted to share that with someone special. She had known deep down that someone would come along who would need her to show them. 

And taking Josh out on his very first walk around the camp only confirmed that. 

“What are those?” Josh had exclaimed, pointing at the garden they passed by. “Those yellow things!”

“Oh! Flowers. We grow them all around the camp. The Bishops can’t see yellow so these send signals to the people we’re going to rescue.” Jenna explained. 

“I’ve never seen them before—Can we sit down next to them?”

“Sure.” She guided Josh down to the grass and settled next to him. Jenna was well aware that they were being watched, but ignored those gawking. The smile on Josh’s face was so much more important. “Go ahead and pick one. There’s other gardens around.”

“Are you sure?” Josh was clearly fascinated by the bright faces, turned to the sun. “Won’t it die?”

“Yes, I guess so. I feel like it’s just… I don’t know… borrowing some sunshine. There will be more tomorrow—there always will be more sunshine tomorrow. And you’re appreciating this flower more than if it just stayed in the ground. The bloom will die anyway, the sunshine goes away, but you’re bringing it with you to brighten up somewhere else. We can put it in a cup by your bed, if you’d like.”

Jenna had known what flowers were for such a long time that she barely remembered the wonder she had to when feeling the soft petals’ touch, or the waxy, springy stem for the first time. Watching him examine the flower with awe brought back the memories of her own escape and early weeks in Trench. Josh was reverent, gentle while separating the flower from its base at the dirt. He protected the blossom, cradled it in both hands. She smiled indulgently at him, and knew that he was who she was waiting for all along. 

* * *

Josh kept the flower, dried it and placed it careful in a box so it would be safe in the belongings he was beginning to acquire. Though they kept moving, the flower was a constant talisman of invincibility— a power he felt rooted through  _ her _ and kept hidden as best he could manage. He was scared to show weakness to the Banditos he barely knew, expecting derision or attack—fear grown from life in Dema. 

But with Jenna’s gentle guidance and trust gained, Josh changed. His body healed and morphed into that of a veteran Bandito—able to scale the sides of Trench swiftly and silently,  to melt into the landscape and avoid detection. Overall, he grew stronger and faster. It felt like in the blink of an eye he went from having Jenna help him even lift the spoon to his mouth, to winning sparring matches. 

He couldn’t help trying to show off a little when she came to watch, the sunlight casting her in silhouette on the edge of the circle that the Banditos had set for the practice ring. Josh ducked low and tackled his partner, pinning them quicker than he ever had before. The others hooted and hollered, but he wished he could see Jenna beaming with pride.  

“Your boy is doing good, Jenna,” exclaimed Vinko, one of the Banditos who had been vocal with their disbelief that Josh would ever make it, pretending as if she hadn’t scoffed that Jenna spent so much time with him. 

Jenna’s shoulders were set back, head held high. “Oh, I knew he would.”

“Do you think he could take you on?” asked the guy Josh had just pinned, rubbing his elbow.

Jenna shook her head, moving out of the sun’s glare and stepping into the ring. Josh could see the grin dancing around her lips, barely hiding her mirth. He should’ve recognized the danger, that there was no need to worry that he would hurt her, that saying “Nah, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. I could—” was foolish. 

“Lose?” Jenna stepped closer and the others backed away. They knew better at least, and Josh had to learn at some point. 

“You sure about this? You’re… I could…” Josh put his hands up, placatingly. She took his wrist and  _ yanked _ and Josh tumbled forward. In a flash, he was forced to the ground, face in the dirt. The wind was knocked out of him as a force landed on his back, and his arms were pinned behind him. He was too stunned to do much more than wriggle, but the strain in his shoulders was too much. 

Josh was trapped beneath Jenna’s thighs, her soft voice in his ear, “c’mon, keep trying.” They both knew it was futile.

She let him up after a few seconds, the other Banditos looking smug— all of them had sparred against Jenna and likely lost too.

“Another chance?” Jenna offered. Josh knew he was likely to end up pinned yet again, but he took his spot on the opposite side of the ring. Turning down another Bandito’s offer to practice fight was a sign of weakness. They were a tight-knit group with intense trust in one another; if one were to back away from a fight, it was an insult and a sign that the Bandito was too prideful. 

She dodged under and around Josh’s attempts to tackle her; swift, elegant in her movements. Occasionally Jenna would tap him on the back of the head to let him know that she was only toying with him. Josh felt clumsy, where barely thirty minutes before he was winning against different opponents. Maybe it was something about her that made him stumble, though her eyes told him to try harder, that she could handle it. 

Josh thought he finally made the right move after enough time dancing around one another. He grabbed hold of her shoulders, and was just deciding the safest way to take her down, when she turned his momentum against him. Twisting out of the way, Jenna knocked Josh down with a purposeful kick to his knees. More jarring than painful, this time he landed on his back. Stunned, he looked up at her and her sunshine halo of hair that had fallen loose from her braids. Jenna pinned his wrists to the ground, straddling his chest and grinning victoriously. 

“You win,” Josh conceded, lost to her smile as well. 

Her weight disappeared from his torso, and she offered him a hand to stand up. Ever the eager pupil and egoless, Josh asked her to show him her tricks, which Jenna did gladly.

* * *

The Banditos were always in a constant state of travel— packing and unpacking. People moved between campfires, tents, bedpartners; all shared between each other. Josh stuck to Jenna, clearly overwhelmed by social dynamics so different than how they were back in Dema. She kept him close in a small tent just for the two of them. For as quickly as he was adjusting, he still needed to be protected in the night— too many memories to contend with. It took months for him to even tell her which district he even came from. 

“Vetomo,” Josh shuddered, still weak from a nightmare Jenna had shaken him from. “H-he found me and b-broke my legs and cut off my f-fingers.” Josh lifted a shaking hand before his eyes, checking that everything was in place. 

Jenna had climbed into the bedroll with him, pulling his head to her chest and wrapping him in her arms as she gently rocked him. Though she was smaller than him, he was curled inward so much that he was easy to hold. 

“You’re safe. I’m here. We’ll protect you. The Banditos will keep you safe,” she insisted, “Vetomo has never been able to take back any of our Banditos. You’re safe.”

Vetomo was notoriously violent; many of his former residents bore scars like Josh’s. Jenna had guessed awhile ago that Josh had belonged to him. There were some subtle motions that took a long time for those particular escapees to shake; like flinching at sudden movements and cowering whenever anyone raised a hand near them. Jenna had heard stories, but she didn’t prompt Josh, just waited for him to be ready to tell her. 

In the darkness, he held her. He always slept on his side, arms curled inward, loneliness and fear evident until he had someone to hold onto and ward away memories that attacked him at his most vulnerable state. She’d wake up briefly in the night, his arms clenching tightly around her and breath quickened as Vetomo hurt him in his dreams, taunted him for weakness. She knew the cure to his nightmares, however— her hand to his cheek made his body unwind and arms loosen, and they slept peacefully until the sun brightened their tent. 

“The worst was when the pain came when you least expected it—when you were punished even though you did nothing wrong,” Josh’s voice was low but still startled Jenna from her drowsy state, warmed by Josh’s body surrounding her. Instantly, she felt chilled by what she was hearing. 

“You’d be standing there, waiting in line, or just walking to work. Sometimes I’d even be fast sleep and wake up to Vetomo or one of his enforcers dragging me out of bed to beat me.” Josh’s face was nestled into her hair, breathing in her scent to ground him, remind him that his Bishop couldn’t hurt him now. 

She lifted his hand that rested on her side, bringing to her lips and kissing his knuckles. “You survived. You got away.”

“I know. I just— there were so many moments where I thought he was going to kill me, and I c-can’t feel safe. Not after...” Josh trailed off and Jenna turned in his arms to embrace him. 

They stayed quiet for a while, listening to the few voices of other Banditos walking past their tent to get breakfast. 

“I’m glad you’ve been teaching me how to fight,” Josh said, “he always made sure we couldn’t fight back— told us that we were weak and useless and couldn’t survive without him. If he thought you were getting too strong, or thinking about rebelling, he’d starve or hit you more. I- I tried to keep my head down and I didn’t talk for weeks and weeks. I was so scared to leave my room. I lost track of time. I don’t even know how long I was there for.”

Jenna rubbed his back, letting him draw in deep breaths to steady himself from the torrent of memories. 

“How did you escape?” She asked, always had wondered how he even managed to leave Dema in the broken  state that they had found him in. 

“Didn’t even mean to that day,” Josh mused. Jenna shifted backwards to see his face; to see the faint scar bisecting his lips diagonally. It was her first time seeing it with light just right and she was close enough to study this trace of past abuse. 

“Had the worst beating of my life that day… I snuck food to my friend who was being punished for escaping. Was sneaking back on the edge of Dema and I was cornered by Vetomo and I think Nills. They hit me with heavy metal bars and whips and left me unconscious on the ground for the vultures to wake me up by picking at my back.”

Jenna suppressed a shudder, not wanting to interrupt him. She had heard many horrific stories over the years, and it was best to just let him say what happened to him with gentle comfort.

“I crawled to a door I hadn’t noticed before—it was dark and I remember it starting to rain. I just wanted to get out of the cold, ‘cause I knew if I stayed out there I would probably get sick and die.”

“I went to sleep just inside the door. It was completely dark in there, and I didn’t have a flashlight or torch to light it up. I felt a stronger when I woke up… I don’t know how much later, but I could hear people talking and looking for me on the other side of the door. I figured I would just get into more trouble by being late to work, and I—I didn’t want to face Vetomo again. So I stood up and walked down the passageway.”

“Sounds like you found a breach in the wall,” Jenna remarked, encouragingly. 

“I guess so,” Josh smiled for the first time that morning. “The tunnel went on forever. Completely pitch black, I had no idea where I was going, and then. Just a little spot of light in the distance that kept getting bigger till I found myself stepping out into the rising sun.”

“How’d you find us? Did you know about the Banditos before?” Jenna asked. 

“Sort of. The Bishops suppressed all talk about what was out there in Trench, but it was impossible to wipe all our minds, especially when people disappear and yellow symbols are left behind. There’s always rumors.” Josh winked. “As for finding you— that was pure luck… or something else, I dunno. I fell asleep again as soon as I got out of the tunnel. After that, I just started walking.”

“Might as well,” Jenna replied. “It’s not like you wanted to walk back into Dema, right?”

“No, definitely not. Once I breathed in the fresh air out here… I knew I couldn’t go back. Even though I kept getting sicker and sicker, I said to myself that I’d rather die in Trench than spend another day in Dema.”

“You’re a miracle,” Jenna told him, and then shifted forward to press her lips to his forehead. 

There was a spell, a moment cast over them, where she considered meeting his lips. But the increasing bustle of the camp around them broke the calm between them and they had to leave the private calm in the bedroll. 


	2. Chapter 2

Josh had been more than eager to start joining missions; he kept telling her how cooped up he felt, and guilty for living off the Banditos’ supplies and not contributing as much as the others. 

“I wanna help you take down the Bishops— get others to escape Dema,” Josh kept asking and asking to go with teams on rescue missions. 

“Hold your horses, greenie,” Caleb, one of the leaders said. “We need to see how you do there out in open Trench. I’ll take you on a couple of supply missions first.”

When they finally told Josh that he was going to be included, his face was alight with pure excitement. It was still a risky, venturing to storehouses close to Dema and breaking in. There had been a few people who were taken back into Dema during supply runs—it didn’t happen often, but still, Jenna signed herself to go with Josh this first time at least. 

Jenna had never seen him so excited, so animated and full of energy. Josh would’ve been leading the pack if he knew where to go. Dema was massive and hard to miss, but the storehouses were hidden in the landscape. Tunnels connected them to the city, so those assigned to fetch the food never had to be outside the walls. The Banditos had been watching for so long, and some had worked in the storehouses (even escaped from them), so they knew exactly where they were. 

Dema grew from a smudge on the horizon, and as they drew closer, everyone became more hushed and watchful. Josh stuck to Jenna’s side, darting between bushes and keeping an eye on the sky for any hovering vultures. Their allegiance was unpredictable, and it was best to avoid them during missions. 

They crawled around a hill concealing an entrance, and pried open a door the Bishops never bothered to lock  They were secure in their power, that the Banditos’ stealing barely earned a response. It was only dangerous if they weren’t careful to conceal their trek. 

Josh was the only one in the group who hadn’t been been in a storehouse before, and his jaw dropped at the expanse of the facility as well as the amount of food. 

“Enough gawking,” barked Anan, one of the more scarred-up veterans. “Fill your bag up with those cans there.”

There was a system as to who grabbed what, and the group departed with their bags heavy. The cans were heavy, Jenna knew they’d give Josh the more difficult load, but he was getting strong. He didn’t complain at all, even smiled and grabbed her hand as they crossed over rocky terrain; not letting go for a while after they cleared it. 

She asked, “Had a fun time?” 

He smiled down at her, forehead shining a little with sweat from the exertion and the sun that had peaked out. Everyone had removed their outer layers with the increasing heat. Josh had begun getting tattooed, and already artwork was crawling down his arm—a galaxy, a tree—marking his body with color not allowed before.  If he were to go back to Dema now, she could only guess what the Bishops would do to him. Jenna had sat next to him as he lay on a cot for hours with the tattooist working on him. He was blissful with the pain; this time it was something he controlled. 

Rarely had Jenna seen someone adjust to life in Trench so quickly, but she learned to expect being surprised by Josh. As soon as they were back from the supply run, he began to ask about joining a rescue mission. Most new Banditos were too terrified of the Bishops to go back into Dema for a long time— that was understood and expected. It cost them so much to escape in the first place, that to return was too much of a risk for them. Eventually, some built enough trust in their fellow Banditos and confidence in themselves. They would go back to help others escape, and spread chaos in the Bishops’ well-ordered world. 

“I think I’m ready,” Josh proclaimed, not just to Jenna, but other friends. The more supply runs he went on, the more confident he became.

Mark snorted, “That’s what you think, but you’re never ready for whatever ends up happening. Every time.”

“Yeah, well I’m ready to not be ready. I just want to help people get out of there. I know I wasn’t the only one in Vetomo’s district who wanted to escape. I was just lucky… now I want to repay that.” Josh tossed a stick into the fire, which was dying since it was so late and most other people were asleep in their tents. 

Jenna sat on the log next to him, and had no reason why Josh shouldn’t go with them, besides the natural fear of putting someone she loved in harm’s way. 

“Fine,” she conceded. “Just promise me this; if someone is snatched, or it comes down to you or even me getting taken back… save yourself. Don’t do something stupid or heroic… I’ve seen too many good people try to go up against a Bishop, and there’s really no hope. It’s better to run away and come back for that person than let yourself be taken, too.”

Josh’s brow furrowed, lips pursed. 

“Promise me,” she insisted. 

“I’ll try my best,” Josh consoled. “Don’t worry… I don’t want be trapped there again. I’ll be careful.”

He took her hand and squeezed, each knowing the other would probably make the dumb sacrifice if it ever came to pass.

* * *

“We’ve made contact with a group from Lisden,” Anan was running point on this mission as well. He was a rock, good to keep an eye on the newer Banditos. “We’re just entering and extricating. Nothing extra.”

As much as Jenna trusted Anan, she also decided to sign up for this mission to have Josh’s back as well.

“What does he mean about something ‘extra’?” Josh asked several hours into their march— there was always a lot of walking in Trench.

“Graffiti, fires… occasionally we break vial displays. Public messages to people who want to escape, to disrupt the monotony that traps people there,” Jenna explained

“Ah, yeah I’ve seen your work.”

“Jenna came up with the bird design we paint onto walls sometimes. Did she ever tell you that?” Petra chimed in. 

Josh shook his head and looked over at Jenna in awe. “That one was left by my housing unit. Can’t believe I met the artist.”

She half-bowed in response. His eyes were admiring, as always, and she felt something stirring deep within her heart. Jenna had to push it down, ignore everything for the sake of the mission. Rescue missions this large only came every few months, and many good people had been lost to the Bishops with simple, stupid mistakes. There was no losing focus, no straying from the main group. 

“Is this the tunnel you left from?” Jenna asked Josh as they marched through with lit torches.

He shook his head, “Mine had less dirt. I could feel the concrete when I walked.”

“We need to find that entrance… some other time.”

The blueprints to Dema were ingrained deep within their memories— every corner marked and watched as they headed deep within the confines of this prison. Hearts raced in counterpoint to the tramping of their boots on the concrete. Out in the open and surrounded by the walls they had been held within for so long; it brought a silent reverence to the group. 

Josh’s shoulder bumped Jenna’s a few times— he was sticking very close to her. It was always hard that first time back in Dema after escaping, and one never really shook that fear they would be taken back. 

“Seems kinda… bold, to be walking through Dema with torches telling everyone we’re here,” Josh whispered to her. 

“The Bishops are at their nightly Worship session, we should be safe now,” Jenna replied, “Don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the flames than the artificial vial light.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Now I’ve been on the outside I see how really cold that light has been all along. The torches overpower it and just feels safer, I guess.”

“I’m glad you guys are feeling very verbose but we’re almost to the rendezvous site and I suggest you quiet down,” Anan said in a tone that demanded rather than requested. 

The people they were extricating materialized out of the shadows.

“There’s kids,” Josh whispered, noticing first. 

Jenna’s inhale hissed through her teeth. She loved kids but it was always so much more complicated escaping with them. Bishops seemed to pop up more often when kids were involved— they preferred their young, malleable minds. There was no way though that anyone there would turn away either of the two kids; if someone wanted to escape, the Banditos would help them along the way. 

Five adults and the two kids; it was a large group when combined with the eight Banditos. Their faces were ashen in the firelight— they always were when faced with the reality that they were escaping.

“Are you ready?” Anan asked, and was met with nods.

“Cover me,” replied a woman, who then knelt down to tighten the straps on the backpack the smallest child was wearing.

The Banditos circled the escapees, a protective ring. Every brush of wind or distant noise caused the escapees and Josh to startle—the more seasoned Banditos had learned to suppress that reflex. They all needed to stay calm; panicking only would draw the Bishops in. They could sniff out the fear, and that was when the Bishops would swarm and snatch back whoever they could get their cold, burnt hands on.

“Even Banditos?” Josh asked when Jenna had told them way back when, when she was teaching him all about life in Trench.

“Yeah. Doesn’t matter if you have been out of Dema for years. They’ve grabbed Bandito leaders; I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes,” Jenna had told him. “There’s nothing that stops them except going Beyond.”

“Beyond? Beyond Trench?”

Jenna had hesitated and only gave him the basics about the rumored place past Trench and out of the reach of the Bishops. Sometimes it was dangerous to give out too much information about rumors and theories to someone who was still very, very new. 

The time spent in Dema was short compared to the walk across open land to go back to the camp. They had slipped in during the night and emerged still in the dark. It was only when day began to break, and the night’s stillness was rustled by awakening wind, that anyone felt safe enough to talk. One of the children began to whine about his feet hurting, and Josh offered to give him a piggyback ride. 

They didn’t venture into the valleys, stuck to the grassy cliffs. It was thought to be safer; they’d be able to see Bishops coming from far off. 

Except this time they didn’t. 

Petra screamed as she was yanked down by her ankle.  Everything happened too quickly for Jenna to figure out exactly what was happening— red cloaks swirled around them. Three— maybe four of the Bishops were snatching people from the group while everyone scattered in different directions. She didn’t wait to figure out who was after the them. Jenna grabbed the first arm she saw with yellow taped on their sleeves and  _ ran _ . 

There was no strategizing or fighting back with hoofbeats echoing around them—Jenna kept her eyes on a patch of brush to hide in. Ignoring the scratches from the bushes and thorns, the two of them, another Bandito names Xavier, dove for cover. Barely daring to move a muscle, they watched the Bishops—four of them definitely— gallop around looking for anyone left. 

Reisdro came close to their hiding spot, and Jenna suppressed a shiver as his eyes studied the very place where she was concealed. One more Bandito—Max— was unearthed from his hiding place, and Jenna had to hold back Xavier. She knew they were together, bonded. 

Five bodies, as far as Jenna could see, were dragged through the grass to be loaded onto the back of the horses. She only recognized Max and two of the escapees; the other two bodies were blocked from view. They could have been anyone, and that terrified her. Which of her friends had been taken? It was Josh’s first mission, and she didn’t want to imagine what would happen to him if he was thrown back into Vetomo’s clutches. 

Every pulse through her body ached with fear and uncertainty. Jenna needed to find out who it was, and start arranging another rescue mission. Her mind raced through every minute that had led to this, trying to figure out where they went wrong. It was a cruel waiting game even as the Bishops disappeared in the distance—there could be one waiting for them to emerge. 

One wavering voice called out “ _ Sahlo _ … ”

There was a minute pause and no hoofbeats. 

“ _ Folina _ _,”_ answered the remaining Banditos, their calls traveling from all around. 

Slowly they began to emerge. Some had made it quite far, hidden behind hills. There had been fifteen in the entire party, and five were definitely snatched back. Only seven returned, however. 

“Three adult escapees,” Anan counted the people standing around. “Jenna, Xavier, Morgan,  and me. That means we’re missing—” 

“The kids… the kids are missing!” wailed the mother who had said ‘cover me’ all those hours before. She knelt in the grass and ripped tufts free. 

“Max, Raj, Petra…” Xavier choked out. 

“Two others who came with us,” said one of the men who had escaped. 

“Josh,” Jenna’s voice was tight, her head spun. “But… we only saw five people get taken. Three people aren’t— aren’t.  _ Sahlo !” _

She kept crying out, waiting to hear some response. Her throat was raw—Jenna refused to cry, but the unshed tears threatened to burst forth. The helplessness, the utter disaster this turned out to be; no matter how she looked at the situation, she had failed. They all had, but she had failed in protecting Josh from ever getting taken back by the Bishops. 

“ _ Sahlo Folina _ _!”_ she truly felt every ounce of the distress signal. Any voice returning the call would have been welcome, but a selfish part of her only wanted to hear one person. 

“Jenna, stop.” Anan said sharply, and she fell to her knees with all the air punched out of her body. Exhaustion, horror, sapped her strength. 

He continued, “We’ve got to get back to camp and regroup. We’re not safe out here.”

“What about the children?!”

“Three weren’t taken… they’re just lost!”

“We can’t leave them!”

“The children!”

“Look, I don’t want to leave anyone behind, but we can’t say that the Bishops didn’t find the three missing people elsewhere. If we just wait around here, we’re going to have all nine on us as soon as they turn around and come back. We’ve got to keep moving. We’re almost to the camp anyway. And then we can send people back here to search. Now let’s  _ go _ _,”_ Anan ordered and no one argued any further, though the mother had to be half dragged to move with the group. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this leg of tour in Mexico has been amazing with content and them playing every song from Trench! Oh! And that photo of Josh and Tyler on a hill dressed as Banditos.... that's the album cover we deserve and is essentially every Trench au.... stay tuned..


	3. Chapter 3

Jenna was utterly hollow. Her bones rattled with each step. A piece of her was missing. Josh had only been in her life a short time, and yet his absence was nothing she could’ve pictured. So much had been rearranged about how she spent each day—if he survived Vetomo, they were back to square one with walls and Bishops in the way. 

And it wasn’t just Josh. Those other Banditos were her friends, even occasional lovers. The bond went deeper every day they spent together in Trench. And the children… even if not all of them were being dragged back into Dema, surviving in the open was a terrifying prospect. 

They walked into camp defeated, marching between the lines of those waiting for them.  Heads bowed, the group was met with more cries and wails as the missing were counted. 

Already dissenters began hissing and the group found themselves surrounded, “Four Banditos lost? For only three escapees?”

“A mole… someone must’ve told…”

“What if the Bishops are—.”

“Enough!” Anan demanded. “We were ambushed in broad daylight. This has happened before… we learned from those times and we’ll learn from this. 

Another leader spoke up, “The Bishops are mysterious and strike without warning sometimes, and trail certain people without reason. We’ll rescue our friends soon, we’ve just got to regroup and figure out the next rescue mission.”

“There’s  _ children  _ stuck in Trench!” shouted one of the new escapees. “Fuck your regrouping— we have to go find them,  _ now! _ ”

A chorus of voices broke out; half saying they had to move camp, and the others volunteering for the search party. Jenna didn’t hesitate to offer to go back, though she was dead tired. Mark appeared at her side, neither said a word to each other, both knowing who they were doing this for. 

“Wait!” Some girl, a new Bandito called out. “There’s some people approaching from the south.”

Everyone turned to squint in the distance—a two figures were walking towards the camp; one very tall and the other small. There was no red—not a Bishop. Jenna allowed herself to finally feel some hope, moving forward with some of the others to inspect who these newcomers were. With just a few hundred yards between them, Jenna pieced together how the figure walked, the wave, their stature. 

“It’s Josh,” she said to Mark, and began to jog in earnest. Jenna was quickly outpaced by the mother who sprinted past her. 

“Hey! We made it!” Josh announced, with a kid on his shoulders and the other sticking close to his side. 

Suddenly, Jenna realized she was in love.  

It hit like a punch, but it had been growing all along. Something about the relief coursing through her, and all-encompassing  _ soft _ feeling warming all the way down to her toes, seeing him hand off the kids to their mother. Jenna was overwhelmed by the urge to just pull him off to a private place, and show him the full range of emotions she had gone through in the hours since the Bishop attack, to finally express what had been building and she had only quantified just then. 

When his attention turned from the kids, Josh’s eyes met hers. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she smiled, feeling as if her cheeks were on fire. Jenna was grateful when a few Banditos distracted Josh, busied him with congratulations and questions. She stood a little way off, but studied his every movement; when he threw his head back in a laugh, how his t-shirt pulled across his chest when he rubbed his sore shoulder, and also that his eyes kept returning to her. 

Unable to wait any longer it seemed, he walked over to her with a bit of a bounce in his step. 

“Good goin’, Joshua,” she squeezed his arm. That was all she allowed herself in public, but her eyes were free to roam across his face, and down— lingering on his jaw where stubble dusted, and imagining how it would feel beneath her fingertips. 

“Did you miss me?” He asked cheekily. 

“You had us really scared. And look… you’re covered in scratches.” She indicated the cuts on his face and arms. “Do you need me to, uh, bandage you up?”

“Please. I was hoping you’d help me.”

The cuts were superficial and they both knew it, but standing there being surrounded by other people was no longer bearable. They shook all the congratulations and headed straight to their own tent, and every step of the way Jenna thought about what she would do with everything she was feeling. 

“So how’d you escape?” she asked as the tent flap swung shut.

“Scaled down the cliff a little ways… there was a bit of a path to a cave we were able to hide in, but had to go through some bushes which scraped me up.” Josh sat down on one of the cots, whose it was didn’t matter much since they kept switching and sharing. Jenna rustled with some supplies, and a washcloth wet with fresh water from her canteen. “You’ve got some scratches, too.”

“You’re like… covered in dirt and I don’t want you to get an infection. I’ll get myself next.”

“I can help!” Josh offered.

She beamed at him. “So, what happened next? Did the Bishops follow you?”

“Nah, the Bishops aren’t too good at climbing, so they didn’t come after us. But I couldn’t be too sure— was scary waiting and guessing when they would have left. One of the kids twisted their ankle so it took us a long time to get back up and over the edge.” Josh’s eyes were studying her face— she could feel it, but she kept busy with wiping his freckled skin clean of dirt.

Carefully she dabbed at the cuts with a clean cloth. “I’ve got some ointment for these… and there’s a nasty looking cut on your arm, as well.” Josh nodded and offered his left arm to her, which had a scrape on his forearm. “You must not have gotten too far,” Jenna mused, “Did you hear us calling for you?”

“I- I thought…. I didn’t…. It was really faint since the wind howled really loudly through the cave, but I was worried it was one of the Bishops’ tricks.”

“It was me. You, um, really scared me,” Jenna confessed, avoiding his eyes as she tended to his arm.

His voice was gentle, “I’m sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault. It was a bad ambush overall,” Jenna said quietly. She always kept up a strong appearance, had been trained for years to not let these setbacks break her positive exterior. But the past few hours had been too much, and she thought she lost someone who was truly irreplaceable. 

With his other hand, Josh held her jaw and lifted her face upwards. They locked eyes, and everything else fell away briefly.

“If it helps… You scared me, too,” he admitted. “I lost track of you when we were running and I thought I was hearing you be taken away. I wanted to go help, but the kids…”

“Always save the kids,” she insisted. “And save yourself.”

“I don’t know if I could save myself if it were down to the two of us,” Josh’s face was intense, exact emotion inscrutable. Jenna felt breathless, needed to step back before she stumbled over her next movements.

“I—I— I think I need to get more water,” she knew she was blushing, and she knew it was obvious that she was staring at his lips. 

Jenna grabbed a bucket, recognizing fully that she was fleeing when she knew exactly what she wanted to do. 

“Just… go for it,” she whispered to herself, filling up the bucket with fresh stream water from a cistern not too far from their tent. She hoped Josh wasn’t offended by her sudden departure.

In fact, when Jenna returned to the tent, he seemed far from upset; he had stripped off his shirt and Jenna lost all that held her back when confronted with bare skin and his still-intense gaze.

“Oh, what the hell,” She put down her bucket.

“Uh, for the bath, I was just—” Josh started, but Jenna cut him off with arms thrown around his neck to pull him into a kiss. 

The angle was slightly off with Josh still sitting, but Jenna didn’t care— climbing right into his lap so they wouldn’t break apart. His hands held her waist, kept her close. His thumbs stroked her sides, as soft as his lips dancing across hers. She could tell from his kisses alone that this was fairly new to him, and she guided him along, like she had been the whole time. Jenna introduced him to parting his lips, letting her in to kiss him deeper. Her fingers traced up and down his spine while he shivered. He was shy again, and she pulled back just to check in.

“Is this okay?” Jenna asked, cupping his cheek in her hand.

Josh nodded, “I’ve been wondering for awhile what it would be like to kiss you.”

“How’s it going so far?”

“It’s really nice,” he said softly. 

They met again for another quick kiss, but broke apart as Jenna realized, “Oh no, I forgot the ointment. And you’re still pretty dirty.”

“But I’m pretty right?” Josh joked.

“You’ll be even prettier when I’m done washing you up,” she smirked, winking as she stood up to get another cloth.

He stood in the middle of the tent so they wouldn’t drip water on the bed. She took the excuse to touch him all over. Pressing her lips over freshly cleaned skin, they kept distracting each other with pauses to kiss again.

“I think you need to get cleaned up too,” Josh suggested.

“I think you’re right,” Jenna agreed and he helped her lift her shirt off. 

They didn’t stay standing for long, very little attention was left for washing, as they kept kissing and walking blindly to their bed. Jenna could feel how hard Josh was through pants he wasn’t wearing for much longer. Pressed against her lower stomach, she pushed forward, rolling her hips to make contact. He responded enthusiastically, rocking back. 

Jenna ended up on top as they landed on the bed, divesting the last of their clothes. Josh’s hands slid along her sides, making Jenna shiver the closer that his touch circled till he found the soft creases under her breasts. Though they were connected by the lips, all her concentration was on the delicate stroking of his thumbs as they inched up to brush over her nipples. 

Every touch wound her up more and more; it had been a long time since she’d been intimate with someone else—ever since he came along. The crashing together of longing and love, the wave cresting over from the adrenaline and terror that Josh had been stolen away. All this tension had tightened between them wasn’t noticeable until it finally snapped. 

Her back arched and hips writhed as Josh attempted to duck his head down to her chest, only reaching her neck and collarbones. Needing more, without a word, together they rolled over to give Josh free movement, lavishing her body with his lips. One hand came up to cup and knead at her breast, while delicately placing his mouth on the opposite nipple. 

“Josh,” she breathed, conscious of the Banditos walking past their tent, keeping her moans to a whisper.

As always, he followed her lead; chasing her reactions and discovering what made her nails dig into his shoulders and chest to heave with a deep breath. Jenna felt revered, body shivering at each electric touch that made her skin tingle. With a unintentional nudge at her thigh, she became aware of his dick pressing needily— she too wanted more.

“Hey Sunshine,” Jenna tugged on him slightly, bringing Josh up to face her directly. His dick nestled along the line of her hip, cradled by her stomach. Respectfully, he barely moved, eyes darting between hers as Josh tried to read her expression. They kissed briefly, and Jenna’s fingers danced along his back.

“This is… You’re doing great. Have you…” She was slightly speechless, panting a little. “Have you had sex before?”

“Oh! I… um, I don’t know.” There was a blush high on Josh’s cheekbones, mixing arousal and embarrassment. “I can’t remember…”

Jenna understood the hazy state of almost-recollection as well as anyone else who had ever escaped from Dema. She whispered reassurances into his ear, running her knuckles along his erection— no space between their bodies to grip and stroke. Instead, Josh began to move his hips, and she responded. 

Closer… closer. 

“I’m okay with this, are you okay with doing this?” Jenna paused him, Josh’s eyes dark with need and desire.

“Yes… please... I want, oh,” his voice trailed off, sighing as she guided him in. 

Jenna, in contrast, breathed in deeply and released, keeping her face and body relaxed. She anticipated the discomfort and stretch, having not been with anyone since Josh came into her life and distracted her thoroughly. 

Josh’s face went through several emotions; tensed, lip biting and eyes shutting tight— a momentary smile and then brow-furrowing concern. 

“Ah-are you alright?” His voice was shaking, and Jenna moved her hands from fisting the blankets to smooth over Josh’s shoulders. They were both holding back, standing on tiptoes near the precipice and afraid to move forward. 

She reassured him, guided him to move slow. In just a few careful thrusts, the pain went away and she encouraged him to speed up, responding with her own hips rolling. It didn’t take too long to fall back into the desperate rutting from before. All sense of decorum and location were lost— neither cared that the noises they made were more than obvious to those passing by. 

It wasn’t the practiced sex of a couple who knew each other’s bodies perfectly, but the wonder and discovery of a first time together. It took some time for Josh to get the right motion, sweat beading on his forehead from all the exertion. Memory or instinct— one could never be too sure after years under Bishops’ oppression. Finally, Jenna shuddered and her nails dug into his skin involuntarily as he made sparks spread under her skin and radiate up her body.

“You’re so good…. You’re doing so good,” Jenna gasped, rising up to meet him.

With all that buildup, their orgasms were close to the surface. Perspiring, all Josh’s muscles flexing and working hard. Jenna felt herself finally tipping over the edge, reaching down to get herself off. She cried out his name, and let the feelings race through her body, and Josh followed soon after, silent except for some subvocal noises.

Jenna gave a soft ‘oof’ and chuckle as Josh lay on her, limbs clumsy in the post-climax haze. He tucked his face into the crook of her neck and she stroked his back with one hand, while the other held his head. His shuddering breaths and how tightly he was holding her— she was certain Josh was shedding some tears, overwhelmed by the intimacy that hadn’t been allowed before.

She hummed a little, letting him compose himself. 

“S-sorry, just… feeling a lot right now,” Josh said after a minute or so. 

“It’s been a… pretty turbulent day,” she replied gently. “Whatever you’re experiencing is understandable, but we’re safe now. We’re okay.”

No one expected them to leave the tent for a long time that day. All they had been through, spending the day napping, having another round of sex, in quiet comfort with the other— it wasn’t judged by any of the other Banditos. They all had been taking bets that the two of them would hook up eventually, and no one batted an eye at the realization or noises. Post-mission, high-adrenaline sex was just as prevalent as the yellow flowers growing throughout the camp. 

Finally emerging for food, both were a little bashful at the love bites on their necks, barely hidden behind bandanas. But the glow between them, unrestrained smiles— Trench, despite its dangers, was  _ real _ . Days in Dema were hazy and unremarkable save for the days of terror or spots of hope in yellow signs hidden in plain sight. Loneliness was the natural state in Dema, but in Trench, a Bandito is far from being alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic came from an interest in jenshler where Jenna and Josh got together before Tyler was on the scene. Stay tuned.


	4. Chapter 4

They fell easily, natural as breathing, into the routine of life— or the closest semblance the unpredictable world of Trench had to one. Days either training, exploring, or out on missions, and nights around the fire pointedly never acknowledging the danger in the stillness all while on one’s guard for an attack. Early morning or late at night, working off enough clothing to enjoy the comfort of the other’s body— they were happy as the months turned into years. 

Relationships like theirs were not unheard of but also not the norm. The Banditos were an amorously amorphous group— the bonds between were all the stability the rest needed. For Josh and Jenna, their exclusivity brought puzzlement but general acceptance, for everyone was content with how things turned out. Only Mark made airy comments about being the lonely third wheel, but there was no real bite or jealousy behind his words.

Most missions went on without a hitch or ambush, but the possibility was always there. Frequently the Bishops brushed by, close to catching them, but the Banditos were good at camouflaging themselves and staying out of their notice. 

There was no Bishop to prefer; each had their own method to drag someone back into Dema and were too successful if given the chance. It was best to stay far, far away from them. Nico had total mind control, Vetomo was violent, Keons was subterfuge in benevolence— all different, but anyone could fall prey. The Banditos each feared the Bishop they had come from in particular; their method most effective to that individual.

Jenna hadn’t seen Sacarver in four years— not even a glance at a distance, and not since meeting Josh. She spent a lot of effort pretending that she didn’t break out into a cold sweat every time he was even mentioned in passing. To have an enemy out there, of formidable power who knew you by name—there was no time Jenna ever felt totally safe, or could stop looking over her shoulder.

The mission was of spreading discord— no one needed to be rescued, so they were spreading the contagion of hope for a life beyond Dema with paintings and slogans. 

“If it weren’t for the stencils, my vulture would be looking more like a turkey. A really  sad turkey,” Josh joked as he slapped yellow paint over the outline, peeling back to reveal a perfect recreation of one of their signals— Jenna’s drawing. 

Ten Banditos were scattered through different districts, graffiting walls and staircases, marking the ground to direct the citizens towards east. ‘Reject Vialism!’, ‘Dema Don’t Control Us’, ‘Cover Me!’, ‘it’s time to leave the city’, — calling cards for freedom, to be read by the residents in the morning, or even as the Banditos painted. Josh nodded and Jenna waved at those who were peeking through their windows to investigate source of the firelight. 

Josh and Jenna were as lighthearted as anyone could be while sneaking through Nico’s distract, that is— on edge, cracking wry jokes with an air of grim expectation that the worst could happen at any second. They bumped shoulders, mood lifting once they were done and heading back to the rendezvous point. Maybe they should’ve been more cautious, peering around corners instead of walking in the open. 

A red-cloaked figure flew at them from the shadows, barrelling between them and knocking Jenna off her feet. With unnatural force, she was flung about fifteen feet away, landing awkwardly with her leg bent beneath her. 

She heard the bones break before she felt the explosion of pain rocket through her body. Jenna wasn’t sure if she screamed; she was too busy feeling as if she was dying.  Writhing was an expected reaction, though it only intensified the pain as the movement disturbed her fractured leg. Unable to catch her breath, her cheek dug into the concrete of the ground. The world was sideways— the walls of the Dema buildings  the backdrop to Josh hurrying over to drop to his knees at her side.

Josh’s panicked voice was at a distance through the ringing in her ears.

“Jenna... Jenna… The Bishops— they’re— we’ve gotta— coming— run. Run!”

“I… can’t…” She gasped, her vision darkening and pain crashing over her like a tidal wave. Her last sight before unconsciousness took her out wasn’t Josh, but instead someone else she could see just over his shoulder— the too-familiar red form of who she feared the most. 

The Bishops had powers that fed on the darkest and deepest fears. When given the chance, they sink their talons into the most sensitive part of the mind— ready to drag a person back into Dema, whether by force or crawling on hands and knees.

* * *

 

She wakes and the light is different. Dawn is arriving and Jenna feels the ache throughout her body. Josh crouches over her, hand a warm and comforting weight on her hair, but for some reason, disgust curls in her stomach. She wants his hand off her. 

“Are you okay?” He whispers and her voice is too dry to respond. 

Jenna nods and lifts herself up slowly. 

“I- that was scary. But no one came while you were out,” Josh frets over her. “I can carry you back. We should get moving before we are found.”

The dark passenger inside curls fingers into Josh’s shirt and pulls him forward to meet Jenna in a kiss. His lips soft and welcoming— she lets her eyes close and relaxes, heedless of the world, her body, beyond the safety in his kiss. She keeps them closed as Josh draws back to look at her, feeling his gaze on her face like gentle sunbeams. 

Josh presses his lips back to her for one last kiss, he too forgetting where they are and what had happened. Both blissfully unaware until Jenna plunges the knife upwards into Josh’s chest. 

He gasps into her mouth,  shock and pain at the betrayal. Already weak, he lurches backwards, his hands coming up to try and staunch the flow of dark blood down his olive green shirt. Attempts to escape her were fruitlessly, and with a fist to his nose, she lays him out flat. 

There’s no question her own actions, Jenna only reacts to each command her mind issues. Cursing her useless leg, Jenna crawls on top of him, a cruel recreation of the first time they sparred. This time, Josh chokes on his own blood and begins to thrash with the panic of an animal realizing death was inevitable. 

“Please… not like this…” his voice fades in and out, feeble and unable to stop her traitorous hands from wrapping around his throat. 

“Jenna…” the last words on the soft lips she knew so well. 

Her grip tightens on his neck, and Josh futilely scrabbles against the constriction. It’s clear the moment he succumbs. Josh’s arms fall to his side; face pale and eyes glazing over. With life slipping from Josh beneath Jenna’s hands, realization began to dawn. 

Death— Dying— She killed him.

She killed him.

She lost control, and— and Sacarver  _ did  _ something to her and—

Josh died.

Even with all movement ceased and pulse gone from under her fingertips, Jenna didn’t release his throat. The pain in her leg amplified, her heart numb with shock at the plain truth of she did. 

“No… Josh…”

There is no going back— the Banditos would cast her out, as they should. Her panic grows with the ringing in her ears and the agony from her broken leg. She deserves to die too, Jenna knows this, but life in Dema—returning to Sacarver— that is punishment enough. 

A voice like a whisper was barely noticed in her turmoil.  _ “Jenna…” _

It would be so easy to stand up and walk right to where she used to live all those years again. What she deserves. To find Sacarver and surrender all freedom, to spend all her days living insensible and catatonic. 

_ “Jenna, wake up.” _

So she couldn’t hurt any more of her loved ones…. Because she hurt the one she loved the most. He had trusted her unconditionally, and she had cared for him from the edge of death—nursed him back to health all those years ago. He used to look at her with love, and she felt purpose, but now his eyes are empty and bloodshot from what she has inflicted on him. 

Jenna wishes she could scream, but she’s a prisoner in her own body, asphyxiating in her grief. Her insides gutted and torn apart, her skin must surely be splitting and breaking apart from the guilt and horror at what she had done. All she is good at, in the end, is destroying everything she loves. 

_ “Please, wake up. Jenna we have to run _ .”

Terrible— A murderer— She deserved to…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwhahahaha


	5. Chapter 5

Jenna woke up where she first passed out, with only a few moments lost. Josh was still kneeling next to her; his face was pale with terror rather than blood loss. 

“We’ve got to go,” Josh pleaded, and she became aware that her brain felt  ragged, like it had been tampered with. It had been awhile since she experienced that specific grogginess, but Jenna knew the cause of those symptoms.

“He—” Jenna raised a shaking finger at the Bishop who was still standing where she first noticed him. “Sacar—”

Jenna could barely get the name out, but Josh didn’t need any more than the look of fear. A quick glance over his shoulder and he flew into action.  Only a handful of times had he ever carried her, and usually to a great deal of protest, but this time Jenna just held on tight to his neck. 

Josh ran, darting around corners in a path Jenna didn’t recognize. She was too delirious from pain and the mental attack, and still she felt the itch in her fingers to wrap around Josh’s windpipe. 

“No— No…” She whispered to herself, and Josh was too busy escaping to notice. She was certain she was out of the hallucination— why did she still feel the urge to hurt Josh? 

The panic increased and her vision clouded over as wingbeats filled her ears. The thread of rationality Jenna was able to hold on to reminded her that Sacarver specialized in conjuring apparitions of vultures, but she still swung her arms above them. Josh startled, nearly dropping her.

“Jenna, stop!” He hissed, “We’re almost—”

“Put me down, please. Leave me behind,” Jenna begged. She didn’t want to claw his eyes out, no—

“Never,” Josh insisted, slowing to a jog, and following the eastern wall a few paces along the side. “A-ha,” he whispered to himself. “I’m going to have to put you down for a moment, while I open the door.”

Jenna took the opportunity to start crawling away while Josh’s back was turned. 

“What are you— Jenna, c’mon. We’ve gotta get going,” Josh didn’t have to go far to pick her up, but she tried to evade. “What’s going on?!”

“You have to leave me behind,” Jenna begged, feeling tears forming in her eyes, knowing that time was precious and the Bishops weren’t far away. Even though she was asking for him to leave, she didn’t want this… it was necessary.

“Never. I could never leave you here.” Josh’s poise slipped, his voice cracked. He knelt next to her again “Please, let me help you.”

“No—no, I can’t… I’ll hurt— I’m not safe. I don’t deserve— Josh, just go. I saw things…” She wiped at her own tears, and steadied herself. “Sacarver made me see things… Things that I know I’m capable of, and I need to stay here so I won’t be a risk to the Banditos… to you. I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t be trusted, I need to be locked up here.”

Josh’s face was pale, terrified to see Jenna; who was always so strong, who he relied on— fall apart. After so long, asking willingly to be left in Dema. Jenna could see his heart breaking, as he didn’t understand why. 

“If you stay, I stay.” Josh insisted, making a decision.

“No!” She shot back. “Vetomo will kill you.”

“I’m not letting you do this alone.”

“I’m not— I would never let you come back here because of me.” Jenna protested; her head ached and a buzzing had begun in her ears.

“Okay, that’s decided then. I’m taking you with me.” Josh stubbornly ignored her cry of protest and lifted her up. 

Her brain and leg was hurting so much, and her heart was conflicted. She hated herself— Jenna knew she couldn’t be trusted. The buzzing turned into screaming the deeper into the tunnel they got; a tunnel none of the other Banditos had known about. Intensifying, Jenna was losing her grip again—descending, falling...  The draw to go back to Dema was too strong, that her body and mind couldn’t tolerate the separation, and she passed out. 

...

Darkness— close to sleep, but much more infinite and empty than dreams—was a welcomed escape from the siege upon her. Sacarver’s manipulation and powers burrowed like a shard deep in her brain, working between the synapses to find the weakest point. He wanted her back, was certain he could convince her.

And he was so close, but never did he expect that there was a force stronger than himself, melting the Bishop’s power over Jenna. Sarcarver didn’t comprehend it, and therefore couldn’t anticipate that what always worked before, wouldn’t this time. Jenna turned off… shut down until she was safe in the very same medical tent where she first met her antidote.

Josh waited by her bedside all through the night and day and night again that it took for her to wake back up. He was there when they reset her leg, swallowing rising bile from the sympathetic pain. Josh was grateful that Jenna remained unconscious throughout, though she did let out a whimper of pain and it broke his heart. Otherwise, she would have set her jaw and tried to tough out the pain, but not in this vulnerable state.

He didn’t sleep a wink, and was dead on his feet when he stood to fetch water for her. 

“C’mon and try to eat this.” Mark offered Josh a sandwich, and Josh shook his head. His stomach was too tense to even take a bite. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out on us. Jenna will be so pissed when she wakes up and finds you looking like utter crap. Please, man, try and eat.” Mark coerced with success. Josh nibbled absently, one hand always in contact with Jenna’s. 

“Is she…” Josh felt the food sticking to his dry throat, the words also catching on the way out. “Is she going to be okay? With what Sacarver made her hallucinate… will she be stuck like that? Is her mind… compromised?”

Mark had been a Bandito just a bit longer than Jenna. He escaped from Andre, and re-escaped twice more since. Josh knew that Mark had experience with each of the Bishops and their effects. 

“I promise she’ll be okay,” Mark reassured him. “We’ve had many people get brainwashed by Sacarver and it’s temporary; just a day or two. Usually that’s enough time to get them to surrender to Dema. Jenna will bounce back.”

“I knew he made people hallucinate but… I didn’t expect it to be that bad.”

“It’s worse for the people that came from Sacarver, but he’s pretty dangerous for anyone. Poor Jenna. She’s tough though, she’ll bounce right back,” Mark sighed. “I would be an idiot to even suggest that you sleep in your own tent, right?”

Josh nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching into a semblance of a smile. There were only two other patients in the medical tent, which was one of the larger tents in the camp; comfortably fitting 12 beds at a time. Time for lights out— they dragged a cot right next to Jenna for him to lay down on. 

“She’s lucky to have you,” Mark’s words were soft, almost missed.

Josh nodded, unable to say anything further, and Mark left. He laid on his side, shuffling around until he was able to comfortably hold her hand. Josh watched her every breath carefully, and it wasn’t lost on him that they were in reverse positions than when they first met. This time, he wanted to be the first thing she saw when she did wake up. 

Hovering between sleep and waking, he kept watch for the two nights it took for Jenna to make it through the assault on her brain. She’d been so still; the first signs that she was coming out of it were the stirring of her arms and leg— the broken one was splinted and secured to the bed. Josh chewed his lip till he felt blood blossom in his mouth. For all Mark’s reassurances, his heart wouldn’t ease until he saw for himself that Jenna was going to be okay. 

In the morning of the third day since the attack, Jenna sighed and blinked her blues open slowly. Josh held his breath, leaning in, but not daring to say anything. 

“Wh-what’s... am I... where?”

“It’s okay.” Josh squeezed her hand. “You’re safe now.”

“You brought me back,” she coughed and struggled to lift herself into a sitting position. 

“Careful— your leg.” Josh placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, helping with the other to put another pillow— his own— behind her shoulders. 

“Ah, yeah it’s broken... or at least it has to be. Hurts,” Jenna said, wincing. “I feel like I fell off a cliff, or got trampled by one of the Bishop’s horses. Head is killing me, too.”

“Sarcarver screwed you up pretty good,” Josh handed her a canteen, and Jenna drank gratefully. 

Wiping her mouth, she looked Josh up and down carefully, clearly noting the bags under his eyes. “How many days was I out for?”

“Two.”

“And I assume you haven’t slept since.” Typical— Jenna’s first thoughts of concern were for others. 

“Well,” Josh’s face struggled from fatigue to find a way to smile. “I figured you were sleeping enough for the both of us.”

Fondly, she rolled her eyes. “Can you go find the medic so they can come check me out and maybe bring me some food? And then go the hell to bed, okay?” 

Josh was reluctant to leave her side now that he had her back. Jenna patted his hand. “It’s okay. I’m going to probably sleep again soon too, and it will make me feel better if I knew you were taking care of yourself.” 

“I’ve got the cot here and everything. It just… feels weird being in our tent without you.” 

It didn’t take long for the medic to inspect Jenna and declare she was free from the Bishop’s power. Scarfing down a quick bowl of soup, she settled down to sleep a bit more. For the first time since they returned, Josh felt free enough to let his mind relax enough to shut down. 

“Thank you for saving me,” Jenna whispered. Josh was too tired to respond— he let the warmth of her love wash over him and carry him to blissful nothingness 

…

It was the worst injury that Jenna had sustained in her entire life, and she quickly grew bored with the restrictions placed on her to help her heal. She understood  _ why _ but she hated being dependent and unable to do her normal jobs. 

“There’s just so much sitting around on my butt letting people do things for me,” she complained after a couple weeks of the most she was able to do was sew ripped clothing. She tossed down a sweatshirt with a torn sleeve she was mending. 

Even cooking, her favorite camp task, was nearly impossible. Jenna figured out she could position herself in a way to chop vegetables and open cans, but stirring the food required standing over the campfires. 

Jenna added, “not that I’m ungrateful. I just feel useless.”

The Banditos pitched in on everything— that was how they were able to survive in Trench. Jenna was hardwired to find something to do. Josh was eternally sympathetic, and he tried his best to find things for her to do. She wasn’t the type to complain often, so even her cracking for a bit was a sign of how bored and frustrated she was. 

“Just a few more weeks and you’ll be back to kicking my ass on the practice field,” Josh said bracingly. 

“She could kick my ass right now,” Mark offered helpfully. The three of them were around a fire— the guys packing their bags for a mission while Jenna worked and tried to ignore the aching wish that she could be preparing with them. 

“Now, neither of you do anything stupid since I’m not going to keep an eye on you.”

“It’s just a quick extraction mission— we’ll be in and out before a Bishop notices we’re there,” Josh replied. A few Banditos had been snatched a couple months prior, and all the necessary arrangements and checks had been made to be sure they were ready to leave Dema again. 

“That’s what we say every time though.”

“Don’t worry about me, Jenna.” Mark tightened the straps on his bag. “Josh is the dumb one here— tell him to stop doing heroic stuff.”

“Except Jenna also does risky rescues, so she’d be a hypocrite.” Josh shrugged, “I get all my bad habits from her.”

“You boys are going to age me. Just be careful. Which district are you going to?”

“Nico,” Josh bent down for a quick kiss. “I’ll be back tomorrow night.”

“You better,” her threat had no weight and Jenna sent them with only the best wishes in her heart. 

…

Jenna fought off boredom by puttering around the camp, making her way as adeptly as one could on crutches over uneven terrain. She kept her mind off of the mission— the Banditos were successful more often than not, and most trips into Dema went off without a hitch. Jenna didn’t let herself worry; it was just a waste of energy, whittling down one’s will and resilience over time if she let every little stress get to her. 

It wasn’t until Mark found her— back later than expected—the morning after, and without Josh. He was grim, eyes dark with regret and Jenna knew that something was wrong. 

“Alright, what did he do this time?” Jenna tried to make a joke, praying that it was minor, but expecting the absolute worst. 

“Well, uh… the usual. We got cornered by a surprise nighttime Public Worship and he ran off to save someone. We lost track of him. I didn’t  _ see  _ him get snatched, but we waited at the rendezvous point and he didn’t show up. I’m sure he’s—”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Jenna said curtly. “He’s probably not too far behind you.”

“We would’ve waited longer, but we saw two Bishops leave and start sweeping the perimeter… if anything, that’s a sign he evaded them.”

If anything, they both sounded optimistic, but silently, unspoken but clearly present, was the fear that Josh wouldn’t come back this time. 

That night, Jenna lay staring at the canvas ceiling of their tent, counting the little stains from years of packing up and moving, from dust storms and snow. The flap unzipped, and an instant wave of relief rushed through her as Josh stepped through. Of course— she could have laughed or cried from the familiarity.

Josh climbed into bed next to her, embracing her and always careful of her broken leg. He smelled like a few days on the road, and it was safe, real. He apologized in kisses on her cheeks, and there was never a question in whether she forgave him. It was why she loved him, after all. 

“So what did you do this time?” Jenna asked.

Josh gave a soft laugh that said he knew she’d scoff fondly at his ridiculousness. “Well… there’s someone I want you to meet. I think you’re really going to like him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm WHO could that be?
> 
> Just wanted to say about my decisions for the Bishop’s powers. In my canon, they each do something different. They have targeted powers that most affect a person based on their biggest fears. For Sacarver, I imagine that hurting the people she loves to be Jenna’s biggest fear. Because the Tear In My Heart music video has her beating up Tyler, I decided to make Sacarver’s power to cause violent hallucinations. Vetomo entraps through violence and like Josh in real life trains to fight, that’s how he overcomes his Bishop. From what I can tell of what we’ve been shown, Nico steals away power and control through brainwashing, which likely plays into Tyler’s fears.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter for Becca, who is waiting in line to see tøp and wants some entertainment.

A well-trained team who run missions together often eventually becomes so in-sync that they can read the thoughts of the others without words— exchanging critical information in facial expressions and nods. Josh didn’t need any of those years of experience to know they were currently screwed. The mission was going to Hell in a handbasket and it was only pure luck that the Bishops hadn’t captured them yet. 

They had reached the three people they were sent to rescue and were almost to the closest exit, when the group had been swarmed by a mob of Nico’s residents and absorbed into a surprise Nighttime Worship session. 

Josh could read the fear in Mark’s wide-eyed scanning of the crowd, looking for an out. The other members of their team were close by, but all were surrounded by Dema citizens. Everyone was facing a dais, lead into Worship by Nico. While they were concealed by the density from him, it was clear from those casting side-long looks that the Banditos were not supposed to be there. Josh even made quick eye contact with a citizen staring curiously at him, but both looked away in a flash. 

“Please don’t say anything… please don’t say anything,” Mark was murmuring, though only Josh could interpret the message from his lips.

When similar things to this had happened before, they took a chance on the general apathy of the citizens— most didn’t want to be noticed by the Bishops, so they would usually say nothing. The residents would shut their windows, turn away and ignore the Banditos passing. Josh remembered being too concerned with his own life and day-to-day to even acknowledge those escaping, back when he was completely overcome with living in Dema. 

The most dangerous were those who worked for the Bishops and would rat someone out in a heartbeat, and it was impossible to tell who that would be. The Bishops were at least recognizable in their red robes, but their agents blended into the crowds, dressed the same, but watched every move. 

But for every snake, there was a Bandito sympathizer who would help— someone who would be joining their ranks soon, after the treason was committed. 

One of the other Banditos gave the signal;  _ time to move _ . The courtyard they were caught in was illuminated by the vial structure on the dais. Nico had his back turned. With his arms raised above his head, he called out the prayer for the citizens to follow along. It was easy to be entranced by the display, but Josh shook his head, clearing it as he edged between rows of people, Mark close behind him. 

They were almost through— almost to the passageway they could skip away in, when a booming voice called out; “Halt immediately!”

Nico had spotted their movements— they were as good as caught. They had seconds to decide— hide in the crowd and hope Nico wouldn’t investigate further, and chance him personally coming into the crowd or even calling other Bishops to search; or run, revealing themselves and definitely losing a few of them in the resulting pursuit. Josh could read the signal for ‘ _ run’  _  forming between all of the Banditos, but the decision was made for them before it could be called. 

“Dema don’t control us!” A voice Josh didn’t know shouted. “East is up!”

“ _ What? _ ” hissed Mark, and Josh shrugged, bewildered. 

“East is up!” Bandito slogans were being yelled by a single person who was moving away from them in the crowd. 

Josh tried to crane his neck to see who was speaking up, but he was impossible to spot. On the stage, Nico looked murderous, staring into the crowd like a vulture, and ready to pounce. His agents were moving too, toward the rebel-rouser. 

“That guy is screwed,” Mark whispered, a clamor of voices and shouts on the opposite edge of the courtyard. 

“I think… it’s a diversion,” realization dawned, and Josh gestured to their group. “He’s doing it  _ for us _ , we’ve gotta go, now.”

They slipped away in the echoing din of screams of pain as the person who had interceded on their behalf was being beaten for acting out. Josh felt awful leaving him behind, a pull in his gut to go help. He knew more than anyone what it felt like to be so abused, to be pulverized against the concrete while a crowd of residents looked on, unwilling, unable, or uncaring to help. But they had a mission— there were people to save—Jenna would be worried— he would definitely be captured at that moment. There were too many witnesses. 

Josh made a silent promise to come back and somehow help the person who had saved them, whispered in the soft march of their boots on the Dema walkways. All were careful to stay calm, to not get ahead of themselves even if they were close to the exit. They may have made it through the sticky situation but another close encounter was possible and  _ did _ happen. 

“Let me  _ go _ , you cowards!” The voice had returned and despite the beating, was still just as loud and angry. 

The Banditos melted into the shadows as three Dema residents— agents— passed down a perpendicular alleyway, dragging a thrashing, fighting, brown-haired man that Josh recognized from brief eye contact in the crowd. They were likely taking him to the prison, somewhere where his brain could be scrambled and realigned with Dema. 

“Go on without me.”  Mark sighed at Josh’s words, having expected it. Josh had made his decision and he sent a mental apology to Jenna. 

“I need to go get him.” Josh told the other Banditos. Without waiting for a reprimand or to see what they did next, he began to chase down the savior who needed to be saved. 

Of course the agents weren’t expecting to be attacked, and Josh’s ambush was quick. Even though it was three against one, his first punch to the biggest’s head knocked one clean out. Their training was more in brutality that strategy in fighting, and were still scrambling as Josh was a flurry of kicks and punches. Outmatched, they only got a few blows in, but the adrenaline was racing through Josh as he dispatched one and turned on the last. 

The last agent was backing up slowly, inhaling deeply to yell for help— Bishops were their final weapon and Josh knew he probably couldn’t fight one of them off. But a with a well-placed foot, the agent tripped over the rebel and Josh was on him in a flash. Carefully choking him till he was unconscious didn’t take too long, and then the fight was over. 

The two looked at each other, and ‘thank you’ seemed too small, too inconsequential— unable to encompass the width of what had occurred, what the other had done for them. They both panted, hearts raced, minds spinning as they searched for what to say. Josh felt something special, something different than any other similar situation— there was a  _ connection  _ between him and this man, though he was certain they had never met before. Josh could never have forgotten that face; those eyes that saw through him, the sharp angles of his nose and hairline, and the mischievous pout of his lips. 

How Josh felt reaching to grasp the hand offered to him made sense in a similar way that Jenna’s presence protected and comforted him. There was instant kinship and recognition between them, and Josh knew he had to take this person into Trench with him. The balance of his world depended on it. 

“Hi, I’m Josh,” he introduced himself, helping his new friend—the minimum certain role of who this man was going to be to him—to his feet. 

Josh was met with a grin as bright as a star, and then gifted with a name. “I’m Tyler, and we’re getting out of here right now.”

…

Tyler was a force to be reckoned with. The bruises and cuts on his face didn’t stop his sharp and witty tongue, asking Josh many questions from the minute they were free from Dema to back at the Bandito camp. He wanted to know everything; what was life like in Trench, how had Josh escaped in the first place, how long he had been with the Banditos, and if there were vultures around the camp. 

“I’ve been thinking about leaving for awhile, but… you know how it is…  I just never felt like it was the right time. When I saw you all trapped, I just couldn’t do  _ nothing _ ,” Tyler explained. “And wow… I’ve never, like, felt air this clear. Does that make sense?”

Josh laughed, “Yeah I felt that too when I first left Dema. Wait till you see the flowers, man.”

In that walk back to camp, Josh understood what it had been like for Jenna to welcome into the Bandito life. It was exciting, like raising a baby bird who was eager to explore and learn. Already he felt immensely protective over Tyler. Josh was so eager to introduce him to everyone, especially Jenna. The universe worked in ways that would always be mysterious, but there was something Josh was sure of, and it was that Tyler needed to be with the two of them. 

Crawling into bed next to her, inhaling her soft smell and feeling instantly  _ safe _ , Josh could barely contain his glee. Meeting Tyler would have to wait till the morning— nowadays the Banditos preferred to watch the newcomers overnight. The reasoning was twofold; for the safety of the escapees in case a Bishop followed them, and also to make sure that they weren’t spies who were sent to harm them in return.  

…

Jenna could hardly contain her smile— she felt the joy twisting the corners of her lips watching Josh explain the ins and outs of the camp to Tyler on their tour around the next morning. He was awed by how the camp ran, and by the end of the first day, knew the names of many of the other Banditos. 

“I think what I’m finding the most… exciting part of being in Trench are all the smells. Dema was nothing except for the rain on cement. Even the neon was odorless. Here, there’s grass and trees and the campfires. Even the dirt smells… amazing,” Tyler soliloquized, with a bowl of stew in his lap and elation on his face. “I really feel like I’ve been asleep for my whole life and now every sense is overwhelmed.”

“Do you have a headache?” Jenna asked. “I remember my head hurting at first when I escaped.”

“Nah, I just feel like sneezing,” Tyler chuckled, scooping up some potato. “So, what’s the, uh, deal with you two? Some guy back there,” Tyler jerked his thumb over his shoulder, “told me to not get too, um,  _ invested  _ in either of you. Are you planning on leaving soon or something?.

Josh and Jenna glanced at each other, a little bewildered at first but then it clicked for Jenna that some people must have noticed how Tyler stuck closely to them. 

“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Jenna explained. “We’re just… kind of a couple, and it’s a bit unusual for Banditos to be exclusive. People are very, uh flexible, and most relationships are non-existent.”

“Whoever said that probably was just messing with you, because you are, uh.. I mean to say that how you arrived was… um…We are...” Josh trailed off, blushing a great deal and avoiding eye contact. 

Tyler quirked an eyebrow and smirked, but said nothing. There was something in the air between the three of them, but Jenna didn’t want to make a premature call on why the energy was so different than with anyone else. All that matter is that Josh liked Tyler a lot, and she too found herself happy to be around him and learn what he was like. 

His first choice for his outfit was a yellow hoodie that had been sitting in the clothes pile for months, never picked. Tyler liked the vultures that waited on the edge of camp for food scraps— within a week, he had the friendliest ones named. Tyler especially enjoyed Jenna’s cooking; smacking his lips and exclaiming loudly that this was the best chili he ever had, or fire-roasted fish, or whatever else she managed to concoct from the ingredients available to them. Tyler was so earnest that she wasn’t entirely sure that he was just joking. 

“The food in Dema wasn’t good, as you know, so I know I can’t really use it to compare, but, like—” Tyler took another big bite, “I just didn’t know that food could  _ taste this good.” _

He was fascinated by Josh’s tattoo— the sleeve was finally completed over the years and was a riot of color and art. Carefully examining, gently taking Josh’s arm into his hands to twist and look at every angle. The two of them sat on the bed, comfortable and warm after dinner, while Jenna worked on mending a long-sleeved shirt Tyler had picked out with a small tear. They had several hours after dinner to hang out before Tyler had his curfew. 

“Do you ever want a tattoo?” Josh asked, Tyler’s pointer finger tracing up the tree that grew on his forearm. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve been thinking about what I’d want to get for awhile now,” Tyler said, palpably excited. “I draw these same symbols over and over… I gave them meaning in Dema, and drew them in secret places so Nico wouldn’t seem. Now that I’m free, I want to ink them onto my skin so I never forget.” 

Jenna dug into a bag near her feet and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen for Tyler to show them his drawings. His voice was soft as he told them things never confessed to anyone before— the meanings of the symbols, and why he needed them. 

Tyler wasn’t a tactile guy, at least not at first, but slowly he began to accept arms slung over his shoulder, or a pat on the cheek. Once Jenna’s splint came off two weeks after he arrived in camp, he even sought out an embrace, saying he had been so grateful for her attention and care, but had been nervous that he’d hurt her with a hug. He was sweet, and Jenna realized her feelings for him were settling in the warm places of her heart where Josh already was. 

…

The quarantine period—keeping Tyler separate at night— was just a few weeks, and he was surprisingly shy when it came to where he would be sleeping after.

He wandered off after dinner, going to feed the vultures as was already custom. The three of them were exhausted after helping all day to build numerous tents for the influx of new Banditos.

“Did Tyler say that he was going to be staying in a tent of his own tonight?” Josh asked, back in their tent as the two of them got ready for bed. 

She shook her head; Jenna hadn’t even thought about that and had assumed he’d be right there. Now she could see that wasn’t the case, since Tyler didn’t appear by the time the two of them climbed into bed. 

“It seemed like he was okay today. I didn’t notice anything off,” Jenna stated, looking at the back of Josh’s head to her right— dark curls that she knew without touching how soft they were against the pads of her fingers. 

He rolled to face her. “Tonight was the night he’s allowed to sleep wherever he wants, right?”

“Yeah, definitely. He said this morning that he was so excited to not have to sleep next to that new guy who snores and farts all night.”

“Maybe he forgot?” Josh asked and Jenna shook her head. 

“No way, the farting and snoring was very loud.” Jenna couldn’t really laugh. “Maybe he just… I guess he thinks there isn’t space or maybe—”

And there it was; the recognition that though they had included Tyler at all times, and felt like he was a part of their inner circle, there was an invisible divide they didn’t notice before. Finally, their relationship was a boundary Tyler didn’t want to cross, and they were both left on the other side, wondering what they really wanted.

They lapsed into silence, each trying to fall asleep. The unsettling stillness and worrying about Tyler kept Jenna from drifting off, her mind tossing and turning. She could tell from Josh’s breathing that he too was mostly awake. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, but she startled into full alertness at footsteps stopping at the entrance to their tent. 

A tentative voice called out, “Jenna? Josh?”

Relief pushed the breath Jenna had been holding out into a sigh that unwound her tensed muscles. She hadn’t even noticed the reaction in her body to Tyler’s absence, but now he was close by, Jenna could relax. 

“Come in!” Josh called out, and Tyler unfastened the flap and slid into the tent. Blankets and a pillow he had undoubtedly acquired from somewhere were tucked underneath his arms. 

“Hey, you don’t need to knock. You can just come in, it’s okay,” Josh explained, grinning, propping himself up slightly. Jenna, on his left, sat up and noticed right away that something wasn’t quite right with Tyler.

“Oh. No… I didn’t want to intruded, that’s to say… I didn’t want to uh, interrupt or, you know— find you guys in an awkward situation,” Tyler looked down at his feet, shuffling them. He was drawn into himself, shoulders curled and body concave with the weight of his own worries. 

“What’s the matter?” Jenna asked as softly as she could and Tyler kept avoiding their faces. 

“I just… I tried to sleep on my own, but it doesn’t feel safe without you guys. And I was wondering… if it’s okay… can I spend the night here? I’ll sleep on the floor— I brought stuff.” Tyler dropped his blankets for emphasis.

“No—” Jenna said, glancing at Josh who looked instantly confused. “I mean— no, you don’t have to sleep on the floor. Right, Josh? He can stay in the bed with us. It’s big enough, and the floor is not comfortable at all.”

“Oh yeah, it’s fine with me.” Josh patted the space in between him and Jenna, but Tyler took the far edge, on the other side of Jenna. 

He seemed keen on taking up as little room as he could. Jenna and Josh glance at each other— the whole interaction had a weird, nervous energy that neither had really seen from Tyler before. It made sense why he was acting so timidly. Dema discouraged any sort of intimacy and closeness. For a newly escaped person, sharing a bed is a concept that’s very foreign, though everyone does adjust at different paces. Sure, Tyler may have easily opened up to them socially, but close contact was still something he needed to get used to.

Jenna and Josh were ready to give him all the time he needed. Whatever he needed— and when Tyler woke them both up later that night with sobs that shook the bed, they were ready to help him. 

It started off quiet, slight shaking and the occasional whimper that was so heartbreaking, it didn’t take long for both Jenna and Josh to move into action. 

“Ty?” Jenna whispered, pulling him back from the edge. “Tell me what’s going on, honey.”

“I— I don’t know. I’m just s-so confused.” Tyler let himself be guided to the center of the bed, and placed his head on Jenna’s chest. She wrapped him in her arms and let him be taken by silent sobs. 

Josh stood and crossed to the other side of the bed, laying down in the spot Tyler had just vacated. He slid closer, melding to Tyler’s back and embracing him, too. A sigh of relief left Tyler’s lungs at his touch, but he was quickly caught again in a paroxysm of emotion. Eventually, the weight of their bodies calmed and grounded him, and his breathing evened enough for him to form senses. 

“I’ve just been thinking a lot about life and thinking back to how hopeless I felt in Dema. I was so m-miserable and… and I didn’t know it. Everything happened so quickly and I’m here now, with you, and— I can’t process it this fast. It’s all moving and changing and worst of— worst of all, I’m terrified this isn’t real.”

“It’s real, I promise that we’re real and we are here and we’re safe,” Josh insisted, tightened his hold on Tyler, his mouth close to his ear so the words couldn’t be missed

“I don’t know what I’d do if… if I had to go back. I don’t wanna go— I don’t want to leave,” Tyler continued. 

“We’re going to keep you as safe as we can,” Jenna knew there was no guarantee in strength in numbers or vigilance, that she couldn’t promise he would never be dragged back. “We’ll do everything to get you back.”

“I’ll tear down all of Dema to help you escape,” Josh swore, a vow he would keep. 

Tyler fell silent for awhile; disbelief, fear, and still confused. 

“How’d I get so lucky to meet you both?” He asked, the tears dissipated but still being held and comforted. 

“You’ve been through so much,” Jenna cooed, brushing his hair off his forehead. “You deserve so much.”

And sandwiched between the two Banditos, Tyler was finally able to fall asleep without an ounce of loneliness weighing down his heart. The next day he asked Jenna to shave his head, and she did, with careful concentration and as gentle as she could. The shedding of his hair also seemed to remove layers of fear from him. Even though his scalp was raw, Tyler looked fierce—for the first time, a true Bandito himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw the boys twice this week! And got b stage barricade again. It was absolutely amazing and waiting on line was so much fun. Met a ton of people and even some people who do read my fics, so shoutout to Bandito Newark. Y’all were amazing and I’m so sore 
> 
> Also, lmao after thousands and thousands of words... we finally get Tyler.


	7. Chapter 7

“Nah, I’m not worried— not at all! I can totally take you in a fight,” Tyler insisted, bouncing from foot to foot, and betraying the fact that he was, indeed, nervous. 

Josh smiled, tilting his head placatingly. “It’s not not that we’re ‘fighting’; I’m just trying to teach you how to defend yourself.”

They had been testing Tyler in following month, seeing what his strengths were— where he would fit into the jigsaw puzzle of Bandito life. He’d done well with tasks around the camp; setting up tents, loading and unloading caravans, though not great at cooking. Out in the fields, he was a swift runner, but surprisingly he was a nimble climber and very stealthy. 

Silently rounding around boulders and crouching behind bushes, Tyler could scale a tree in the blink of an eye. He made a great lookout, and after the fight lessons got going, it was planned for him to learn how to climb the edges of the cliffs in Trench. 

Josh took him through the simplest moves, showing him key holds to use when grappling with an aggressor, carefully twisting and lowering him to the ground. Tyler paid attention closely and caught on pretty fast, mirroring the moves on Josh. 

“Except there’s a difference between you  _ letting _ me take you down, and what will happen in an actual fight,” Tyler pointed out, gripping his torso on the safe side of painful, leg attempting to knock Josh’s out from under him. 

Jenna watched from nearby, shouting helpful tips from a seat. Her leg was pretty much healed but the other two balked at her participating and possibly getting her. She had rolled her eyes and let them fuss over her a little longer— it kept them happy and Jenna decided she’d be back to her normal activities within a few days. 

After some time spent wrestling and both were getting sweaty, Josh moved on to teach Tyler how to punch. After showing him how to curl his hands properly into fists (“Don’t tuck your thumb under— you’re going to break it and then you’re more injured than the guy you’re right.”), Josh stood with his hands up towards Tyler, dark hair askew with grass sticking out.

“Am I supposed to hit you?” Tyler said with his arms in the position Josh had placed them. Up and ready to fight, though his face read uncertainty. 

“Just aim for my hands. I’ll correct you as you—.”

“Ouch!” Tyler shouted, waving his right hand around. He preemptively threw a punch, undoubtedly a bit nervous. His knuckles cracked loudly against Josh’s palm— pain startling Tyler but barely causing a flinch in the Bandito. 

“Are you okay?” Josh asked, worried. 

“I— ow— don’t think it’s broken,” Tyler pauses the frantic movements of his hand to examine the damage. “Just hurts!”

“Dude, there’s no way you could break it on my palm like that,” Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand to look at it himself. “You didn’t even go that hard.”

“It’s not my fault I have soft hands!” Tyler protested. “You’re like a- a rock!”

“Hit with the flat part of your fingers.” Josh made a fist and pointed what to aim with. “And follow through so you don’t jolt your wrist so much.”

Tyler grumbled, “I should just have you next to me at all times so you can fight for me.”

Josh threw his head back and laughed. It was a peaceful moment for Jenna, sun glowing in the late afternoon with a light breeze— a rare calm from the usual gusts. She stretched and closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths before her senses sharpened. 

Something was wrong. 

Her ears picked up the shouts from the main part of the camp; panic and warning obvious even from this distance. There was no black smoke billowing into the sky— didn’t seem like anything was on fire. That could only mean one thing, and Jenna had to immediately accept that the top fear of any Bandito was happening. 

She stood and ran towards the two men who were joking around and unaware. 

“Jenna, wha—”

“Raid! I think the Bishops are raiding!” She shouted, heart already racing and she was read to spring into action; weakened leg forgotten. 

“What do we do?!” Tyler’s eyes were wide, face losing color. Even Josh was scared— the Bishops rarely came into camp. Never during the day. Something was different about this. 

Before they even made a decision, a Bandito could be seen sprinting toward them. Mark waved his arms at them, signalling something desperate. They ran to meet him and the direction of Mark’s arms changed. 

“Run away! Go! Go!” He shouted, motioning urgently for them to turn the other direction and leave. 

“What?”

“Why?!”

“Tyler! They’re here for Tyler!” Mark panted, close enough to start shoving them back. “Nico was going through your tent. You have to go to the cliffs! He’s coming to take Tyler!”

That was more than enough of an explanation. The three of them began to sprint, knowing hoofbeats will soon be on their heels. There was no time to stop and think why Nico was here personally. In this place, one simply had to react and figured out motives later. Their minds were filled with ‘hide Tyler, save Tyler, east— east—.’ 

It was amazing what the human body was capable of when pushed to an extreme. For the couple miles it took to get to the cliffs, they kept up the pace, barely daring to look over their shoulders. At first, nothing was on the horizon, but then the closer they got, a dot in the distance grew at a rapid rate. 

Nico was on his white horse, at full speed far outstripping their own and gaining on them with every step. The confrontation was coming, and yet they were so close to their chance at safety. Nico and the rest of the Bishops were unpredictable and when he reached them, the collision could be violent, or Tyler could immediately fall to Nico’s mind control. Jenna grabbed his hand as a final act of grounding him, dragging Tyler to the edge. Nico was about a quarter of a mile away.

“We’re gonna see how your climbing skills are, a little…. earlier than we expected,” Josh said, out of breath. Despite the joke, his face and voice were grim. Jenna and him shared a quick look, deciding between them that they were about to fight tooth and nail for Tyler. 

“I’ll go first,” Jenna’s knowledge of the paths down Trench cliffs were extensive from her years exploring and traveling through them. “Follow which way I go and Josh will take up the rear.”

Tyler had no comments; words failed when a Bishop was hunting one down personally. 

The walls of the trenches that named the region were daunting; deep scrapes into the Earth or intimidatingly high and looming— depending on one’s perspective. The path varied from careful steps on a steep incline to scrambling over rocky outcroppings. At the rate they were moving, no attention could be taken to look back to see if Nico was still pursuing them down the hill. Anything was possible, and they couldn’t rest until they were in the safe shelter. 

It was a beacon that Nico wouldn’t be able to see; a curtain of vines with yellow flowers blooming perpetually. Jenna didn’t know  _ when _ precisely she had taken Tyler’s hand, but she tugged him along. 

“Almost… there.. c’mon.” Jenna used all her might to drag Tyler through the veil protecting their hideout. Josh threw himself into the cave just a few seconds after them. Turning to the entrance, he raised his hands as fists, ready to fight if anything followed them in. He was unaware of the adrenaline-fueled actions happening behind him. 

In the dim light of the cave, Tyler and Jenna had turned towers each other, faces burning from the exertion and panic. He was the one that took the plunge. He would say later that he didn’t want to go back to Dema without acting on the feelings that had been building up inside him. 

His hand found the line of her jaw, and Jenna met him in a kiss forceful from fear and desperation. Both needed this, unaware of their limbs as they pressed as close as possible—grabbing in case they were pulled apart by cold hands darkened with paint. Her head was dizzy from lack of air and the unexpected. 

The two had even forgotten they weren’t alone, and broke apart after Josh made a noise of surprise. Jenna and Tyler panted slightly, and Jenna felt Tyler’s hungry eyes examine her flushed face. 

“Wha-” Josh began, but Tyler cut him off. 

“Get over here and kiss me.”

“I… what?”

“I want you to kiss me,” Tyler swept his gaze to Josh, who looked completely lost. “Come over here.”

Josh obeyed; permission being granted for what he wanted from the moment Tyler had said they were getting the hell out of Dema. If anything, the absence of coupling rules among the Banditos made it all the more easy to absorb Tyler into the relationship that had just been him and Jenna. 

The attraction was chemical. Their first kiss was electric. It wasn’t as intense as Jenna and Tyler’s— the desperation had faded as time passed and Nico didn’t burst into the cave, and they could take their time to explore. Josh and Tyler’s hands traveled up and down, latching onto each other with more bravery as the passion took to the flame. It was all escalating, and Jenna wanted to take this further.

She moved further into the cave, letting the two stay connected— Tyler pushing Josh against the wall, and then finding himself spun around to be the one sandwiched by Josh’s body. Meanwhile, Jenna located where the supply box was stored; food, water, medical kit— all necessary items for hiding out, but she saved those for later. Jenna arranged blankets and bedding on the floor, crawling on top to make sure that it was comfortable enough on the stone ground.

“Guys,” she called. She had tossed her coat away, bare shoulders and skin a temptation they couldn’t resist. 

Dutifully, they joined her on the makeshift bed, and it was Jenna’s turn to kiss Tyler again. Josh stayed close, happily observing and still touching. Jenna and Josh both slipped their hands under Tyler’s clothes, and he gave a small noise of excitement. His skin was so warm and smooth beneath the many layers; shirt, hoodie, jacket. 

“Can we take off some of this?” Jenna asked.

“Wanna feel you,” Josh murmured, and Tyler shivered, nodding.

In turn, all three of them removed their clothes, helping each other in this exciting race to feel skin against skin. Tyler’s eyes were wide at each new detail and sensation. Suddenly, it was remembered that this may be the first time that Tyler too would recall being so intimately close to other humans before. They had always been careful to share their love in every touch, and this time was no different. If anything, making sure Tyler felt safe was of the utmost importance. 

“Wow,” Tyler palmed Josh’s chest, running along the slope of his pecs to curl around his side. Tyler kneeled with them lying on either side of him, looking between his two new lovers, as if deciding who to kiss next. He mimicked the movement over Jenna’s chest with his right hand; Jenna arched into his fingers brushing over her nipple. 

“She likes when she’s touched like that,” Josh told him. He rolled onto his side to have a better view, as Tyler took the hint and began to pay attention to her breasts. 

They kissed again, Jenna hooking her ankle over Tyler’s side, pulling herself to climb atop him. Rocking and writhing, it felt so natural to progress to having Tyler slide inside her. She sighed, her head falling back and hair cascading down her back. 

“Feels good,” she said, and Tyler groaned softly. 

Josh palmed himself, stroking slowly and waiting patiently for his turn wherever he could fit into this. As exclusive as they had been for years, threesomes were an occasion treat, and he loved watching in the beginning. Jenna rose up and down, riding Tyler as she does with most things— skillfully and deliberately. He gasped and panted, rocking upwards and clearly overwhelmed by everything happening to him. 

“C’mon Josh, you can touch,” she told him, and Tyler immediately reacted to the increased attention. 

He moaned against Josh’s lips, and his fingers dug in almost painfully to Jenna’s hip and Josh’s shoulder— his anchors in what was an ocean of love and passion. He’d been swept away, the current carried him out so quickly that it was getting hard to breathe. 

“Wait— wait— I need—” Tyler floundered and immediately his partners stopped. 

“Is everything alright?”

“Do you need a break?”

“Yes… yes please.” Tyler’s face was red in the dim light. “It’s all too much and I… I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay, Ty,” Jenna said sweetly, climbing off of him and letting her hand on his sternum provide a grounding weight. 

Tyler closed his eyes— inhaling slowly, holding it as his lungs were expanded to their greatest capacity, and then letting the air leave him in a rush. 

“S-sorry, I need a breather.” 

“Don’t worry, I know the feeling,” Josh said helpfully, propped up on an elbow to grin at Tyler. “Jenna is pretty good at taking your breath away.” He winked.

Tyler eyes glinted mischievously in reply. Though his cheeks were flushed and he still appeared overwhelmed, he seemed that he couldn’t stop himself with asking the next question.

“Speaking of which… could I see the two of you? You know… I’ve been thinking, uh, a lot about the both of you together, and stuff.” He was coy, his words loaded with entendre and flirtation. 

Jenna and Josh were more than happy to oblige, leaning over Tyler to kiss each other, and he sucked in a quick inhale. 

“And you’ve been waiting awhile too, baby,” Jenna said to Josh, beckoning him to come to her. “So patient…” 

He straddled her lap, and she deliberately placed her hands on the creases where his thighs met his ass, an idea coming to her as she stroked.

“Hey Tyler, would you like to have a turn with Josh?”

Tyler nodded eagerly, unconsciously licking his swollen lips. 

Both he and Josh whispered, “please.”

“Hand me the medical kit,” Jenna directed, pointing at the pile of supplies within reach of the edge of the blanket. “There’s some lube in there so I can get him ready for you.”

Josh shivered on top of her, and then held still for her fingers to probe and stretch. After years together, they had both become accustomed to each others bodies and had explored like this before. But this whole experience with Tyler, and as many times as it could be reiterated, was a whole new frontier for them as well.

Tyler watched, agape. He reached out to run his fingers through Josh’s hair, that was just long enough to curl. Josh’s head fell back as blunt nails scratched along his scalp. Sensation from every direction— he rocked his hips against Jenna as she worked him on three fingers. Tyler even reached over to touch her—she didn’t expect the attention, but enjoyed nonetheless, bringing full-body tingling that exploded into an orgasm that she didn’t expect. 

“You look pleased with yourselves,” she said with a breathless laugh. Tyler winked but Josh was lost to the deluge. 

“So close, I—”

“Not yet,” Jenna warned. “Are you ready for Tyler?”

“Y-yes. Are you?” Josh asked Tyler. 

“Please. I am—I want—Josh,” the words tumbled out of Tyler’s mouth and he reached for Josh. 

“I’m here,” Josh reassured him, climbing off Jenna and then taking the same position on top of Tyler. Sinking down on him, Josh paused as Tyler’s back arched and arm fell down to grip at the blankets. 

Toned thighs working hard to move fluidly— Josh rode Tyler as if the world was beginning and ending all at once. Their rutting was desperate, kissing was abandoned as their need grew and grew. Josh hunched over with his hands placed on either side of Tyler’s head to gain leverage— his dick bounced and slapped against Tyler’s stomach. Tyler twisted the sheets and moaned both of their names

Jenna stayed close by, her legs and body brushing against them as she played with Tyler’s chest and kissed his cheeks. 

She told him. “Let Josh take you over the edge— you saved his life and now he’s thanking you. How does he feel?”

Tyler couldn’t reply— for once, words escaped him and were lost to the sounds spilling from his lips. 

Neither were going to last much longer, that was clear. Jenna applied more lube to her hand and began to stroke Josh in tandem with his bouncing. For a moment, he lost his rhythm from the change in sensations, but the tempo returning in a moment—quickening as he too sped towards his climax. 

“My boys,” she said fondly, and they both looked at her with flushed cheeks and dazed eyes. 

“I’m gonna—” Tyler was first to come. His hips jerked up into Josh, who worked him through before hunching over, spine bowing as he followed and spilled onto Jenna’s hand.

Shaking breaths and hands, bodies shining with sweat— the aftermath was wordless and momentous. They took their normal sleeping positions on the bed; Tyler sandwiched between the both of them, all clinging and needing the contact. Reassurance that what happened was real, and that the revelations would last when they left the cave. 

“I know this is… a lot… and early,” Tyler said, his voice wavering slightly. He was on his back, staring at the ceiling and avoiding making eye contact. “But I think I’m in love with both of you.”

“Ty—” Jenna smiled and turned his face to her. “I think I do too.”

“I love you all,” Josh whispered, mumbling from exhaustion and tucking himself along Tyler’s side.

Sleep was easy to set in; feeling safe enough to let their guard down and be vulnerable. Tyler chuckled a little in his half-awake state. 

“How awkward would it have been if Nico walked into this cave earlier?”

Cracking up, they nestled closer and let themselves finally settle and fall into dreams that were no longer scary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna be in columbus in 2 days? seeing the boys? this is wild.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter of this journey— this prologue to the Trench story we’ve seen through the music videos. Thank you for reading.

The cave was their private sanctuary and an endless time of getting to know each other inside and out. Bandito life was so fast-paced and the sense the Bishops could appear at any moment was so unsettling that one never truly relaxed. Two nights they hid out, and there was enough food to keep them there even longer, but with the sound of a Bandito call through the pre-dawn stillnesss, it was understood that it was time to leave. Throwing their clothes on for the first time since they had first entered the cave, Josh poked his head out through the cover of flowers to give the ‘all clear’ signal. 

Mark was part of the small group who came to fetch them, and from the look in his eyes as he examined the three of them, he knew some of what transpired. 

“Is everyone safe?” Jenna asked, “Did anyone get taken back?”

“No, everything’s fine. Nico spent more time running after you three than destroying anything. We just had to move the campsite in a different direction now that he knows exactly where we are.”

Josh pointed out, “We were there for awhile. It was probably time to move anyway.”

“I guess…” Mark looked uneasy and kept glancing at the other Banditos with them. It was as if there was something he wanted to tell the three of them, but couldn’t with the present company.

They read the mood up quickly, marching in silence for most of the way. Jenna recognized the area where they were camped; they had been there before, years back. She wasn’t surprised that their tent was on the outskirts of camp. She fully expected that— it was strategic since Nico went after Tyler, and Mark only confirmed it. 

“I just want you to know,” he said quietly, once they were out of earshot of other Banditos. “We tailed you guys when Nico was chasing you, and kept a lookout. He did something really out of the ordinary after you guys went over the edge of the cliff.”

Jenna asked, “What?”

“He kinda just… stood there and waited. And it went on for an entire day and night. I’ve— we’ve never seen anything like that. Usually they just stand there for a couple hours and then leave.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have any other important stuff to do in Dema?” Josh chimed in. 

“But this wasn’t normal. We’ve dealt with Nico before and he has patterns just like the other Bishops. — I think… he’s fixated on Tyler.”

They all turned to look at him, his eyes were wide and full of fear. “I— I— I don’t know why. I’m not anyone special.”

“But—” Josh protested.

“Oh, okay, okay. I know I’m special to you guys, but in Dema, I wasn’t anyone important. I just did my job and every day was nearly the same.”

“Maybe it’s  _ how  _ you left,” Jenna pointed out. “You really made a scene. Maybe he wants to make an example of you, like, yeah ‘this one protested and escaped, but he came back just like I said he would’. So other people don’t copy you.”

“I don’t wanna go back,” Tyler said in a suddenly hoarse voice. Mark looked away, giving the three of them some privacy. 

“You’re ours,” Josh said, grabbing Tyler and embracing him tight. “We’ll fight whoever comes your way. Nico already missed grabbing you once.”

“I suck at fighting.” Tyler’s voice was muffled into Josh’s shoulder. 

“Oh, we know. That’s why we’re sticking with you.” Josh reassured.

But promises can’t be made in Trench. The Bishops ashed, singed hands grabbed and pulled as they wanted. The Banditos tried to fight, found better success in evading.  But there was no sense in hiding at all times, not when the sun peeks through the haze and Jenna takes a turn demonstrating hand-to-hand combat to Tyler, using Josh to go through the motions.

Tyler stood with legs planted firm, his head slightly tilted and face blank but for some tension in his jaw. 

“Yeah, I know what it’s like to watch her fight,” Josh said in an undertone as Jenna directed them to take a break for water. 

The passion was a good distraction for the anticipation of what they feared. It was hard to remember to be fearful when hands are so warm and bodies so soft. If Jenna was the sun, then Josh was gentle and solid as the earth— they were the contrast to the concrete emptiness of Dema. 

“We’re in love, right?” Tyler asked one night, before the tent was full of the sounds of their sleeping— white noise to the utter silence and stillness of Trench in the dark. They had been all like this,  _ together, _ for months, but sometimes Tyler needed the reinforcement. 

“I feel the same,” Jenna replies, pressing a kiss to his hairline, finding new growth. She tucked her toes under his calf and left her arm stretched across his middle, where her fingers brushed Josh’s stomach. They mirrored each other on either side of Tyler, caging him for his own safety. Together, they went under, drifting off the most vulnerable of places.

…

They didn’t like talking about it, or waste time worrying when Nico would make a reappearance. The inevitability hovered, no matter how long they waited, it lingered. Tyler was resigned, seemed ready at times, and the other two wanted to shout at him, telling him not to waver, to keep his eyes focused on the horizon. 

When one started giving in, is when the Bishops circled and pounced. 

“In Dema, I lose… a lot of myself,” Tyler told them along a river they had found not too far from camp. 

The three of them walked along the banks to see if the water’s source was nearby, or what other resources could be found upstream. Jenna and Josh had been talking cheerily, and Tyler was notably silent. Usually, he had so much to say, to ponder aloud— hypotheticals and propositions that would launch absurd conversations about fighting a chicken or a horse. Regardless of all that—of how healthy he looked having spent time out in the sun, or how often he proclaimed that he had never been happier; the weight of life in Trench was becoming too terrifyingly free. 

“You know that Nico can— he just  _ erases _ parts of me. Memories, emotions— I’m not  _ me  _ most of the time that I’m back… there.” Tyler picked his words carefully, not meeting either of their eyes even though they had stopped their journey forward. All attention laser-focused to understand where Tyler was going with this. 

“I just don’t… know what I’ll be like when you guys find me again. Now that I’ve escaped, will he try to weaponize me against the Banditos? Against you both?” Worry creased his brow and darkened his eyes— Tyler was gaunt with worry, already looking lost to the fear. 

“There’s… no way to know,” Jenna was soft, reaching out to stroke Tyler’s arm, though her insides were coated with dread. 

“I’m thinking… or sometimes I think… it may be safer if I wasn’t rescued.”

“What are you saying?” Josh spoke what Jenna’s tongue was too numb to ask. 

“I think… maybe you should leave me in Dema when—”

“No!” Jenna cut in. 

“ _ If  _ I’m taken.” Tyler corrected himself. 

“Absolutely not,” Josh said in a tone that he didn’t often use— defiant and angry.  He locked his arms tight around his body, every ounce he was feeling radiated from his body. 

“We would never,” Jenna agreed, unaware her nails were digging into Tyler’s arm— her muscles decided independently to grab on and not let go. He didn’t react to the pinch, if anything it grounded him despite his grief and hopelessness. The wind blew sharply— their faces cold from the evaporation of the teardrops that had suddenly appeared on all of their cheeks. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Tyler pleaded. 

“Knowing we could rescue you but leaving you to suffer would hurt so much more than anything you could do to us.” Jenna was shaking, desperate to think of a counter argument that will convince Tyler that he was worthy of saving a hundred times, a thousand times,  _ every time.  _

“We need to keep moving,” Josh cut in. He was right, of course— they could have stayed arguing in that spot for hours, right out in the open for anyone to come and find them. 

They continued on their mission for the day in near silence, each worrying silently about Tyler’s future. Nico’s next appearance felt like it could happen at any moment, and so even though they had barely spoken since the tense moment along the river, they held each other tight in the small tent they set up for the night. No one wanted to sleep,  and Josh came up with the best distraction.

“I have an idea!” He proclaimed, crawling out of their bed and unfastening the tent flap. “C’mere, Ty.” Tyler joined him in the space outside, the embers still glowing from their campfire. Josh grabbed a log and a couple sticks to stoke the fire back to life. “We need some light.”

“For what?” Tyler asked, looking between him and Jenna, though she was just as lost as him. 

“You said you were afraid of being brainwashed again and hurting us if we tried to save you. So what if we had a signal for each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“Something only we know that we can do it we're separated. If we do it, then we’ll know that we’re in the clear and everything is okay.”

“Seems like you’ve got something in mind already.” Tyler smiles despite himself. 

“Yep,” Josh grinned and popped the p. “Handshake. We should make up our own handshake.”

“That’s so cool!” Tyler exclaimed, losing the melancholy heaviness that visibly weighed down his shoulders with stress. “Let’s go.”

Jenna watched them, still lying in the tent, her hands pillowed beneath her chin.  The firelight flickered and the two cast shadows that danced with their movements. Over and over; they added and practiced, added and reviewed each grasp of their hands and twist of their arms. Her eyes felt heavier and heavier as the two men’s hushed voices eagerly coached one another; gentle laughter coaxed her to sleep, protected by this late-night fun. 

She dreamt of grass and warm sunlight and a picnic with no fear of anything lurking in wait for lack of vigilance. Conversation swirled around her, and Jenna was utterly content. Safe. 

A hand rocked her gently, warm on her shoulder— Jenna mumbled and stirred, waking up reluctantly. There was no urgency in the waking— just excitement to show her what they had accomplished. 

“Check it out! We’ve finished the handshake!” Tyler was the one who had been attempting to rouse her.

“That’s great,” Jenna yawned. “Show me.”

Without the sun it was impossible to tell how much time had passed but she could tell that the hour was late into the night. They were immensely proud of themselves, and rightfully so. The handshake was intricate— ending in an embrace, fingersnap, and matching delighted grins. 

“Dude, everyone is going to be so jealous of our cool secret handshake,” Josh said as they landed on the bed in their usual sleeping position. Tyler in the middle— Josh on his right and Jenna on his left. 

“We’ve got to practice every day,” Tyler said seriously. “And Jenna you have to learn it too. Wanna be sure we all know the code.”

Her eyes were shut again and she could feel them both settling. She was being held and there was no need to speak— just falling back asleep and also more in love. 

…

They had been waiting for it to happen for a while, that when it finally did, it was almost a relief to know what they had anticipated was a real and constant danger. That they never were truly safe from the Bishop’s clutches. 

Tyler had completed his very first food mission the day before without anything going wrong. Easy— just like they planned and not a single sighting of a Bishop or one of their minions. Jenna and Josh had been on their guard to make sure Tyler wouldn’t be taken without a fight. They knew there was little to do when the time came, though. 

Night was when everyone was most vulnerable, and none moreso than Tyler. That first night they spent together and then every one since made it clear that Tyler feared the night, even if he was safe with them. His best nights were when he didn’t dream. Tyler would fall into these moods some times, withdraw and even irritable; he didn’t want to talk about what was happening in his mind.

Nico figured out the element of surprise. Marching openly into the Bandito camp caused chaos and his prey could run away in the mayhem. 

Josh was closest when it happened, but Jenna was the only person watching. Tyler had been having a bad day and was staring off with a faraway look in his eyes. Josh was mending a jacket, quiet in the light of a fading sun. Jenna had left them to get something from the supply tent, and was just coming back. They were too far off for Jenna to do anything more than scream a warning as a singed-black hand grabbed Tyler by the throat and yanked him backwards. 

They both began to chase after the Bishop who was dragging a completely limp Tyler through the wild grass. His white horse was waiting not far to take them back the prison of concrete and haze. 

Josh got there first, shouting “No!” as he launched himself at Nico. 

The Bishop dodged the tackle and Josh tried to correct his trajectory, but Nico had the upper hand since Josh was off-balance. With supernatural strength, Nico threw him ten feet away. He landed hard, but staggered to his feet. Jenna caught up with him, and Tyler lay unconscious at the Bishop’s feet. 

The two Banditos raised their fists and Nico mimicked the movement— splaying his darkened hands, threatening his power at them. Sure, they could fight, but it was implicit; if he got his hands on their necks, they would be taken with Tyler. Nico’s foot emerged from beneath his robes and found Tyler’s throat. Even though he was unconscious, the pressure and construction made him start to writhe in the grass. 

Jenna and Josh looked at each other. They didn’t want to leave Tyler, couldn’t step away from Nico slowly choking him, and dreaded making him face Dema alone. But between their eyes, and with what Tyler had said to them before— the decision was made. Rescuing him wasn’t possible if they were divided and trapped in their separate districts. 

Her throat burned, but she didn’t want to show any weakness to Nico, who was stealing her love away. Josh’s hands gripped her shoulders, tightening so as not to betray the shaking in his arms. As if holding her back— though Jenna knew he was really grounding himself in their reasoning why they had to let Tyler be dragged back. They kept a silent vigil as Nico won, pulling Tyler towards the horse and then kicked into a gallop back to the city. 

“What do we do now?” Josh asked in a broken, shaking voice. He had always turned to her, following her path and direction, but there was no roadmap to when was best to save someone. 

Jenna let some tears fall— to feel the pain was to be real, to be human, to be a Bandito. Heartache was an alien sensation to those in Dema; it separated life in Trench from the detached numbness in the concrete cage. 

“All we can do is wait and try as soon as we can,” Jenna replied, letting Josh envelope her. As safe as she always felt with him, there was a piece missing this time, a permanent part of their hearts. 

It wasn’t so straightforward to walk right into Dema and take Tyler back— he had to be ready to be guided out, too. They would stay hidden near Dema, sending him flowers and signs that whenever it was time, they’d be right there— every time it happened. 

Ready to cover him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and extra special thanks to everyone who has commented and shared their kind feedback. I started this many months ago and it’s a relief to be finished. I am so happy with how this came out, but excited to start work on some other projects.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to flightlessnerds, who inspired me to write this, and a special thanks to TheDyingSun who has heard me whine about this process and helped me develop my ideas.
> 
> teeentyonepilots on tumblr & trenchtowel on twitter-- I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for reading!


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